See You Bleed | ✓

VIII

"Dad didn't abuse her often," I tell Eva, "But he still did it when they fought."

I'm cutting up vegetables for the salad while my best friend sits at the kitchen counter and listens to my ranting.

"I don't know why mom never left him. She still cooked him dinner the next day, they still talked normally and laughed when they didn't fight, they still lived alongside each other for so many years."

Eva looks at me sadly while I'm stirring the ingredients in the bowl.

"It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don't want to lose someone, even if they don't deserve our forgiveness."

"Maybe she had nowhere else to go," she notes, "maybe she accepted her fate because she had you and your brother to take care of."

It makes me think about that whole mess from a mother's perspective. "Then I will be forever thankful that she didn't leave us. Although I still feel infinite sadness that she had to go through that."

"You should call your mom one of these days," she tells me with a wide grin.

"I should," I smile sadly.

"It's kinda heartbreaking that mom still grieved and had a horrible depression after his death. I think he didn't deserve her love," I go on.

"We don't choose who we fall in love with, do we?" she remarks thoughtfully.

"We don't."