Forever Enigmatic

Chapter 14

"IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT if you had a real job, Sierra."

Her mother's voice sent shivers down her spine. She stared at her refrigerator in vain as tears fell and wet her cheeks. She made no sounds to let her mother know she was upset, instead she stood there listening to the stream of insults that blared through her phone.

"I mean, the answer is right in front of you. A crappy job at a café doesn't provide for a living. Are you that a dumb? You need a real job. This is your own fault."

She made the mistake of calling up her parents pleading for their help. She overworked herself and didn't have time to study for her classes. As a result, her grades started slipping, again. Something she couldn't risk or she'll lose her scholarship; the only thing keeping her afloat.

"One day you'll see your mistakes."

"No, my mistake was calling you in the first place. You're a terrible mother. I hope you know that." Sierra didn't want to listen to her mother's outburst and hung up the phone.

Her breathing labored and, soon enough, she was sobbing on her kitchen floor. Her chest rose and fell abruptly as her sobs worsened. She let her phone fall on her lap as her hands went to rub her eyes, wiping away her tears. She gasped for air, but she wasn't done crying. More tears sprung from her eyes as she hiccuped; they were never-ending.

She tried to be a good daughter. She tried to make ends meet. She tried to go after her dreams. In the end, she failed at everything. She didn't even know what her dream was.

She managed a chuckle in between her whimpers.

Her dream was survival, and she was failing at that too.

No matter how much her mother's words hurt, she knew she was right. A job at a café wasn't going to help her financially. She was struggling because of how low it paid for someone with a high rent. Before her landlord threw an increase in her face, she was doing mighty fine. She had established a routine and was managing her life greatly. Now that was all down the drain.

She considered finding another job in addition to her job at the café, but she wouldn't have time to go to college. Then she'd definitely lose her scholarship and a chance at a better job position in the future.

It was all unfair.

She never went out of her way to disappoint her parents. She didn't go out every night to get drunk and do drugs. Instead she went to work for hours, go straight home at night only to then stay up until the ass crack of dawn cramming meaningless material for school. She worked ninety-percent of her time, and when she had the littlest bit of time, she went to the gym to release some of her tension. Then, she jumped right back into the jumble of stress that was her life.

She could have not cared about anything and become someone she wouldn't be proud of, then she'd understand her mother's words. But she wasn't like that. She tried. Oh God, she tried. And it was never enough.

Life was so competitive, she realized.

Infants are celebrated for learning how to speak and walk fast; children are applauded for learning the basic alphabet and simple math problems; teenagers are admired for standing out in any area—sports, theatre, classes; adults are respected for earning six figures over a job; and elders are regarded for living many years.

If you didn't do any of those things, you were dismissed. Tossed to the side.

Parents are disappointed when their babies don't learn how to talk or walk properly; children are punished for not learning as quickly as others; teenagers are disregarded when they turn out to be average; adults are frowned upon when they don't earn six figures for a job; and elders are thought less of when they can't live without support.