Remember me?

Part 2

Flashback
"Jeez, look at all these love letters in your drawer. It never fails to amaze me how you get so many every day. Do you read all of them?" My sidekick, Jiwon, gaped in awe.
"Nahhh, I just throw them all into the trash." Obviously, it was a lie. I never failed to read every single one of them, because I loved reading their adoration & compliments on me. But I couldn't exactly admit it to Jiwon, right? Because then, she'd think that I wasn't cool.
"Woah, daebak. Well, clearly you won't have time to read these with all the different dates you have lined up every day. How did it go with that college guy you met at the mall?" Another one of my sidekicks, Minyoung, asked.
"I left early coz he was sooo boring." I shrugged. The truth? I never went, because I knew all of the guys' intention in approaching me was just to have my body. And actually, I was a bit scared of that. Scared that they would do something indecent to me. However, I always pretended that I had a lot of dates with countless guys to keep my reputation as the most coveted "it" girl.

The only one, who was different out of all the guys who wrote me letters & pursued me, was Park Jimin. He was the sweetest, nicest boy I'd ever met. He'd never looked at me in a sexual way, even in his letters he never really complimented my looks. He was so good with words that his poetic phrases felt so intimate without being vulgar. He said he was drawn to the pure innocent girl behind the flashy facade, and that touched me so deeply you had no idea. Too bad, he was a mediocre country bumpkin from Busan, otherwise I would've dated him in a heart beat.

"Ommo ommo, Hayoon ah. That village boy from Busan writes to you again. He sure is relentless, he's been sending you letters everyday. What does he write you? Can I read it?" Jiwon's fingers were ready to rip the envelope.
"No! Don't open it!" I shouted a little too enthusiastically without realizing & that made both Jiwon & Minyoung's heads perked up.
"Why? Oho, do you secretly like him or what? You've never reacted that strongly when I asked to read other boys' letters." The triumphant look on Jiwon's face made me want to punch her, but I kept my cool.
"I just think it's rude to read people's private letters."
"Come on. It's only for a good laugh. Or maybe like Jiwon said, you've really fallen for that nerd?" Minyoung glanced at Jiwon & they both laughed out loud.
"Ugh, fine. Go ahead, knock yourself out." I couldn't risk them knowing my inner thoughts, so I reluctantly agreed.
They excitedly ripped the envelope open & read.
"Hahaha! Omg, Hayoon ah, you've got to read this. 'The rain falling reminds me of you. Because it is falling hard & I am too.' God that was the cheesiest line I've ever read in my life." Jiwon laughed until tears rolled down her eyes.
I think it's cute. But of course I couldn't say that, so I just kept quiet.
"Here's another one. 'Your eyes, the windows to your mysterious soul, sucked me in like a riptide & I wish I could drown in it forever.' Ieewwww!" Minyoung added.
That was actually beautiful. But again, I couldn't say it to Jiwon & Minyoung.
"Ya, Hayoon ah, I have an idea. What if you read this out loud in class during break tomorrow? I'm sure it'll be hella funny." An evil smirk appeared on Jiwon's face.
"What? No!" I was utterly horrified by her idea & started panicking inside.
"Why? People will have a good laugh & that bumpkin might gain some popularity." Minyoung chimed in.
Ughh, seriously I would love to kick their asses right here right now.
"Nope, I don't see the fun in doing that. I'm going home now, gimme those letters." I slung my bag over my shoulder & casually extended my palm at Jiwon.
"Awww, you're not fun. Here you go, but can I keep Jimin's letter? For uhmm.. research purpose." Jiwon said as she handed me all the letters except for Jimin's.
Unease filled my mind, but I couldn't deny her request because then it would be too obvious that I favored Jimin over the others, so I agreed.
"Whatever, I'm going to throw it away anw. See you guys tomorrow." I put on my earphones & walked out the door, ignoring the ringing alarm in my head.
And that turned out to be the biggest regret in my life.

The next day was just like any other day. The class was boring as always, so I dozed off until it was time for break.
"I need to go to the restroom." I rose from my seat & said to Jiwon without looking at her.
When I got out of the restroom, I accidentally bumped into someone.
"Ow! Watch where you're go-" I was about to scold the person, but when I looked up it was Jimin.
"S-sorry." He shyly said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He was actually quite cute up close.
"It's ok. See you in class." I was feeling nice so I smiled at him. It was funny seeing how his cheeks turned bright red just because of my simple words.
I smiled inwardly as I saw him scurried back to class ahead of me. I got stopped a few times on my way back by some boys who wanted my number & since I was in a good mood, I rejected them nicely instead of coolly like usual.
Laughter was heard from the hallway & it got louder as I got closer to my classroom. I walked in unsuspectedly & all eyes were immediately drawn to me.
"What?" I looked at Minyoung & asked.
"Oohhh, the leading actress is here!" Minyoung exclaimed loudly & clapped her hands, which were followed by the rest of the crowd.
I got confused for a moment, then I saw a piece of paper in Jiwon's hand. Jimin's letter.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
I turned towards Jimin in horror. His head was hung low, his ears were bright red. I could tell he was deeply embarrassed.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" I quickly approached Jiwon & whispered harshly.
"Nothing. I was just reading Jimin's beautiful confession to the class. Don't you think it's incredible guys?" The crowd cheered at Jiwon's question.
"Give it back to me!" I tried to snatch the letter from her hand but she hid it behind her back in a swift movement.
"Oho. Are you trying to protect him? Uuhhh, do you like him Hayoon ah? Tell us now, do you accept Jimin's heartfelt confession?" Jiwon snickered.
This bitch, seriously I'm gonna kill her..
I glanced at Jimin, he was staring at me with tear-glistened eyes, as if asking me to rescue him from this situation. But there was nothing I could do, Jiwon had put me on the spot in front all of my classmates. My reputation was on the line, so I said something that would haunt me for years to come.
"Why would I care about a country bumpkin like him? I'm waaayyy out of his league." The second those words left my mouth, I felt like I could hear Jimin's heart breaking into pieces.
He quickly rose from his seat & ran out of class.
"Woohoo! Hayoon ah you're such a savage!" Minyoung cheered, as well as the rest of the class.
The fact that they enjoyed seeing other people suffering disgusted me, but weren't I the same as them?
Guilt consumed me even more since Jimin didn't come back to class at all after he ran away from class. I waited for him to get his backpack after school was over, but he never came even until everyone was gone. He didn't come to school as well for the next few days & his mom was the one who came to get his bag in the end.
I didn't think that that awful day was the last time that I would see him because he then moved to a performing arts school. I heard he got accepted as a trainee in a small entertainment company. His success & fame in the following years didn't escape me. And I couldn't help but wonder, what if I didn't say the things I said back then? Would everything be different? I wished I could have met him at least once to apologize for hurting his feelings, but that was until today I really see him in person & all I want to do is to hide myself inside a deep dark hole.