𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒔 : 𝒘𝒐𝒘𝒌𝒘𝒂𝒏

i hate that i love you, why cant you understand that!

Donghun wakes up to the smell of cooking food, to the cool bedsheets around him.

He sits up, hand reaching up to ruffle his bed head ridden hair. the bedroom lights are off, only the open windows curtains illuminating the familiar room. Donghun sighs, hearing noise from deeper into the apartment.

He knows Junhees is awake, and it makes his stomach churn.

with a deep breath Donghun slips out of the soft bed, bare feet padding against the carpet as he slowly steps towards the barely cracked open door.

he peaks out, seeing Junhees back to him as he stands in the small kitchen, movements sluggish.

It's hard, taking the few steps to exit the room. he knows what's coming, expects Junhee to yell and lecture him and kick him out. why wouldn't he? the butterflies in Donghuns stomach turn into rabid birds, slamming against his insides and making him nauseous.

finally he pulls the door open, the hinges making a soft almost inaudible squeak as they move. Donghun wants to stop and turn around, go back and continue the dreamless sleep he awoke from. but he presses on.

Junhee still had his back to him, shirt moving with his shoulder blades and arms as he cooks. the smell now better identified as eggs and cooking toast. How domestic it looks, but how sad it makes his heart feel.

as Donghun steps off of the living room carpet and onto the tile flooring Junhee turns.

His hair's still a bit messy, lazily brushed with his fingers to lay into submission, face still slightly puffy from sleep and eyes tired.

he's tired, but not just physically, Junhee is emotionally exhausted too.

Donghun never forgot how hard the other had it, never ignored or overlooked the triple shifts Junhee took or the missed rent payments that had the younger so stressed he made himself physically sick.

But Junhee, despite all his hardships, still looked out for and took care of his friends. his family.

Donghun would always feel guilty, about the days he kept the other up at night, talking on the phone to calm himself down, or the times he begged the other to stay with him despite knowing Junhee had work within a few hours. He was so selfish when he thinks about it .

He'd been so selfish these last two months, only indulging in activities that blanked his mind and distracted him. he ran from his reality, while Junhee dealt with everyone else's.

The younger startles slightly as his gaze lands on the disheveled Donghun. His eyes are soft for a split second, before his face goes blank again.

Donghun looks down, to the cold floor that's slowly chilling up his bare legs, he can't keep eye contact.

he can hear Junhee move around, feel his body walk closer to him before his wrist is grabbed and he's being pulled further into the tiny kitchen. they halt and Donghun bites down on his tongue as Junhee pats the counter near the heated stove silently before stepping back over and continuing to watch as the eggs cook.

Donghun feels himself slip back into their older days, mornings like this but without the tense atmosphere and the waking demons. one where Donghun sits on the same spot on the counter and watches Junhee attempt to cook.