Professor Jackson: Chapter 5

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“It doesn’t mean anything” Michael’s deep voice echoed in my ears as I lay awake

“hey! We’re going out for drinks, wanna come?” Rachel asked popping her head in 

“No, I don’t feel like it”

“You don’t feel like it, what does that mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything” I replied in the same tone as Michael had used 

“If it doesn’t mean anything then come with us. What’s the problem?”

“That exactly is the problem. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“you seem to be high as it is. I’m going. Sure, you don’t wanna come?”

“Yes”

“Okay, bye”

“It doesn’t mean anything” I repeat to myself and fall asleep. 

Here I am outside professor Jackson’s office again. I don’t feel as nervous as I did last time but I’m not that excited either. Guess there’s fear only where there’s love. Maybe it was because I did like professor Jackson that I was so nervous initially. Kissing him also might have been an unconsciously conscious decision and what I felt bad about the whole day yesterday was not kissing him but rather the confusion whether he kissed me back or not. And eventually when said that it meant nothing, the confusion was over, the star of hope was burned out and all that remained was a black hole. 

“Viv, come in” Professor Jackson said “Have you been waiting there for long, I’m sorry I didn’t hear you knock”

“no, I just came” I lied

“Have a seat”

“I’ve written an abstract, I just wanted to show it to you Professor Jackson” 

“Michael, Vivienne. Call me Michael” he chuckled softly recalling our previous confusion

“No, I think it is best for me that I call you Professor”

“What does that mean Vivi?”

“It doesn’t mean anything. Just like you said”

“Vivienne what’s the matter?” Michael asked getting up from his seat and approaching me. He kneels down on one leg and places his hand on my chair as I keep looking down at my feet. 

“It’s nothing”

“there’s clearly something that’s bothering you. Tell me” 

“Professor it’s nothing I assure you. I’m just not comfortable calling you” I pause and exhale “Michael” I say softly feeling the word as I say it. 

“why? Is it about yesterday? I told you not to worry about it, Vivienne. You said it didn’t mean anything”

“I said it didn’t mean anything?” I ask surprised “Michael, you’re the one who said it, not me”

“I didn’t say it Vivienne I asked you whether it did” Michael responds getting up in frustration

“No, you said it. You said it didn’t mean anything” I retort angrily pushing my chair back as I stand up. 

“Vivienne” Michael calms down “I remember clearly saying - it doesn’t mean anything. Does it, Viv? And you nodded your head and left without even looking back”

“I left because I thought you said it didn’t mean anything and..”

“And?”

“And I felt dejected. I know I shouldn’t be feeling that way, you’re my professor and you’re so handsome that you probably have a girlfriend who is angry with you because you told her that some student accidently kissed you, but it didn’t mean anything just like you told me”

My nervous speech is stopped midway as Michael leans in and kisses me. I kiss him back. I part my mouth a little and feel his tongue enter me. He tastes like the forbidden fruit of paradise. His tongue is dominating yet gentle allowing me to savour the way his mouth tastes. 

“If I had a girlfriend” he says pecking my lips “I would never tell her that our kiss didn’t mean anything” peck “Because Vivienne, it did”. He finishes and kisses me again. 


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