ARReSTeD DeVeLOPMeNT - 𝑎𝑛 𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

01 || -le

We begin with a party. Oddly enough, a lot of you are probably still surprised by this.

This party is for Michael Bluth, who currently isn't here, but - if you were still wondering - is the middle child of Lucille and George Bluth Senior, who both seem to have forgotten that the party was planned for him in the first place.

Not like it was that easy to figure out, though. On top of Michael not even being present, another layer of confusion was added due to the fact that they were reusing the same party banner they'd used for everyone else in the family. Just about every name had been both added and crossed out over the years, so it really was pointless trying to distinguish who it meant this time, anyway.

Of course someone could just buy a new banner for each party, or simply go about remembering the purpose of the parties in the first place. But for what purpose? Making someone feel special? Lucille would argue that everyone should grow up and forget about being cared for. And, while they're at it, get her a drink.

The banner problem and the not-knowing-who-to-celebrate situation, however, were both the least of the two seniors' concern. As they stared up at the reused, reduced and recycled banner hanging indecisively from the doorframe, knowing which name to focus on was the second-to-last thing on their minds (the first-last thing being the fact that Michael hadn't shown up yet, tied with something along the lines of magic tricks or associated people, which also meant their oldest son. Oh, and also empathy. But that wasn't really on the list at all).

"Why do we throw all these parties, anyway?" George Senior asked, his legs crossed as he sat back in his false leather seat. "It's like we have one every month."

"Well, it isn't every week that one of our family members gets let out of prison," Lucille replied. Her fingers wrapped themselves around her wine glass in a way that displayed a high level of pristine experience. Which, with context, also means alcoholism. But focus on experience.

George Senior turned to his maybe-sorta-ex-wife with a sudden look of philosophical all-knowingness etched across his features. "Was anyone in prison, though?" he asked. "I mean, other than Buster."

Lucille paused and stared importantly at the bland beige wall ahead. "I can't be sure," she replied, and then repeated, in a softer, inquisitive tone: "Was anyone in prison?"

They weren't.

"You know, I think this time it was Franklin," she decided. "Buster got ahold of him again and felt so bad for what was said that he tied him to the ceiling fan with floss until he moved past the event." She took a sip of Whatever Was in her Glass™ and pursed her darkly-colored lips.

"Oh," George Senior replied, only somewhat interested due to a lack of surprise. "What did he call you this time?"

"A dick-slapping man whore," Lucille sighed nonchalantly. "Nothing nearly as bad as last month."

We'd let you know what was said last month, but Franklin was a bit too verbose that time for us to release it to the public.

Franklin was a puppet used for ventriloquism that made many notable appearances in the family since his purchase. Over the years, he'd shown up to court cases, stolen audio from unsuspecting medical officials, and even released a less-than-classy album. Recently, though, he'd been stored away in the attic until he was found by the one person who really shouldn't have stumbled across him.