Date Her Instead Vol. 1

Chapter Six: Enough

Over the weekend, both Kanako and Haruna opted to stay home. However, while Haruna fended off Chiyo's constant texts begging her to hang out, Kanako was dealing with things on her own mind. "I wonder if Mi-chan's still mad at me..." she thought. The last time the topic of her secret had come up, Kanako had used a sharper tongue than she had meant to, causing Michi to get angry with her. "I know she wants to know, but..." Kanako trailed off in her own head. She was pretty sure she knew how explaining that would go. "Mi-chan would react in every way except accepting..." Kanako sighed.

The longer her fake relationship with Haruna went on, the more Kanako was beginning to feel like it was doing more harm than good for her. They were nearing a week since it began, but every day she felt like she had been given a month's worth of insults and anger doled out from Haruna. It seemed like no matter how much Kanako tried to keep her head up and brush it off, some of the words kept slipping through her cracks.

Out of recent habit, Kanako let out a long and audible sigh as she laid on the couch in her living room, prompting her mom to stop typing on her computer and give a concerned stare to her daughter. "You sure have been sighing a lot lately sweetheart. Is everything okay?" she asked. "Huh? I have?" Kanako said, not realizing it. "I guess school's just been kinda hectic." "Oh really? Lots of homework or tests?" her mom speculated. "No, nothing like that. Just... people problems I guess," Kanako hesitated on whether or not she should go further. Obviously if she couldn't tell Michi about her "deal," there's no way she could tell her own mother. But, maybe there was some way to at least get a little advice.

"Hey mom," Kanako began. "If you had to spend time with someone who was always mean to you, how would you handle it?" "Someone being mean to me? Kanako, you aren't getting bullied at school are you?!" her mom asked in a panic. "N-No! It's just a question!" Kanako quickly corrected her, but added to herself: "At least, I don't think I'm being bullied..."

"Hmm, well, that is a difficult question. Normally you could just walk away, but if you couldn't, then..." Kanako's mother sat in thought for a moment. "I think it would be best if you told them exactly how you feel and that they're hurting your feelings." Kanako took a second to process that answer, trying to apply it to Haruna. "...But what if doing that just causes more problems?" Kanako asked. "If being honest about your feelings is going to make things worse somehow, then regardless of the circumstances, it would probably be best for you to cut ties with that person," her mom said easily. "You shouldn't have to suffer because of another. Sweetheart, if there's someone in your life like that right now, I think you should probably find a way to get away from them."

The words her mother spoke hit Kanako right in her core. She knew all of that was true. In fact, that was something that had been instilled in her at a young age. Be kind, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. And yet, with Haruna, Kanako found that very difficult to do. "I don't want to fight," she thought. "But what can I do to make her treat me even like a human being, let alone her former childhood friend?"

That was a question on Kanako's mind for most of the rest of the day. Whether she was sitting on the couch, going to the store to get ingredients for dinner, or soaking in the bath, the predicament wouldn't leave her. As she sat in the warm water mindlessly twirling her finger in it, Kanako's brain went through what felt like every possible solution. Ultimately though, she was left with only one conclusion: no matter what she did, things between her and Haruna probably wouldn't change.

"She's just too angry with me, all the time..." Kanako sighed as she sank deeper into the water, running her flushed lips through it and creating bubbles on the surface. "She'll never listen to anything I have to say..."

As Kanako's mind finally found a moment of solitary, another, connected thought hopped into her train of thought. "We're both doing this because we both love Akio-kun," Kanako remembered. "..." She let that sink in before having a harsh realization. "The only way I can be with him is if I stay with Haruna for a year... But what if I can't? What if I'm already at my limit? Does that mean my feelings for Akio-kun were shallow? Or, does it mean I'm just a weak person?"