Samsāra

Chapter Twenty-seven

"Ajiona Devi," a small voice said from outside the pavilion.

Ajiona lifted her head, distracted from her ruminations on the duties of a Rani. Devashuni had left her in the middle of meditations a few minutes ago or was it half a muhurta ago? She glanced sideways at the stick of incense in the urn and saw it had burnt all the way down and all that remained was smouldering ash. Two muhurtas had passed. She had been so absorbed in her contemplation that two muhurtas had gone by. Her stomach growled with hunger as though awakening from a slumber and discovering it was allowed to grumble its need again. 

"Devi?" The soft hesitant voice called again and Ajiona looked away from the urn to the pavilion's entryway where framed in a halo of moonlight was Rajkumari Aanya. She seemed to have recovered her colour and healthy since the muhurtas Ajiona last saw her. "May I come in?" she asked unsure and looking down at her sandalled feet.

Ajiona stood up, dressed in a simple white dhoti and kaunchika, she bowed to the Rajkumari. "Of course, Rajkumari."

The Rajkumari twisted the hem of her siro-vastra  in her hand and hurried across to Ajiona as though fearing she'd scurry away if she dallied on the entrance any longer.

"What can I do for you?" she asked the small Rajkumari who was eyeing the floor to see if it was suitable enough to sit on. 

Deciding she would remain standing, Rajkumari Aanya tried to meet her eyes then flinched and looked away. "I…" she began before faltering.

"You look better Rajkumari. I'm deeply sorry you had to spend the day confined in your quarters because of my thoughtlessness." Ajiona bowed again.

The Rajkumari jolted as though she was coming awake from a pleasant dream. "Oh what? That…" her face became suffused with warmth as she undoubtedly recalled her reaction to the horse this morning. "Well, you couldn't have known."

"Still," Ajiona insisted thinking Aadarshini would be so proud of her. "It was an oversight that almost cost you your health."

"It's quite fine Devi," Aanya said in a breathless voice and looked down at herself with a lost expression as if she was quite sure if she was fine. "I should apologize for acting like that. I'm not usually like that," she bit her lower lip, a guilty look entering her eyes like a child that has done something awful. "Between Rajkumari Isha's words and all, I just…" she trailed off and gnawed on her bottom lip even more fiercely.

I see, Ajiona thought. Isha must have threatened or cajoled Aanya into putting up a frightened act to ruin Ajiona's plans for them. All so they could do what she wanted and she could be in charge instead of Ajiona. She felt the urge to laugh not in true amusement but at the Rajkumari's childishness. 

"It's alright rajkumari," Ajiona assured her with a sincere smile. She wouldn't hold it against the weak princess that a harpy like Isha bullied her into doing her bidding. "I'm glad you are well now."

"Well, yes." Aanya's eyes were huge and dark in her face and she looked genuinely relieved that Ajiona hadn't reacted violently. How could she? Protocols must be followed even if the person was the devil himself. Her mouth curved into a shy smile. "I shouldn't take up more of your time, Devi. I wish you a good night."

"Same to you, Rajkumari. I hope you'll be well for our next outing."

Aanya's smile was big. "Of course," she said heartily and Ajiona was certain she would be there.

As she watched the princess turn and leave, she felt the stress she had been keeping at bay return to her shoulders. Her lessons coupled with keeping the rajkumaris occupied and then the spy stuff she was doing for rajamata. Ajiona massaged her forehead with her fingers, puffing out her cheeks before exhaling slowly. Despite her teachers' confidence in her, she has no idea how to gather the secrets rajmata needed. She considered the options of using the secret passages in the walls to listen in but the idea was dumb. The other option was to get close to Lavan and get the secrets out of him.

She met him earlier today and he seemed interesting, it felt weird trying to ask probing questions and her uneasiness had led her to keep her mouth shut and announcing her departure. It was going to be harder than she imagined. She wasn't skilled in the art of seduction or espionage or anything. She was a warrior, give her a sword and she knew what to do with it. But probing veiled questions weren't her style, neither was using her femininity to seduce men into doing things for her. Ajiona knew she could do it but she can't bring herself to do, it rubbed her the wrong way, the very thought of it. 

Ajiona rubbed her eyes. Today was a long day, she'd try again tomorrow and hopefully fresh ideas would pop into her brain. The yuvarajus' party was in a week and she wanted a secret or two by then. Maybe inviting maharani Snigdha to a private meal would work. Or inviting Lavan… she shut down the thought before it went any further. 

God! She wished she could talk about this with someone. Bahu or Bhalla, especially Bhalla. She needed a pair of listening ears and his gruff advice. She had sought him out after the jallikattu but he was nowhere to be found, as well as most of the other yuvaraju. Which was weird since he said he hated them all. Maybe he didn't go with them, he could be back in his chambers, doing whatever he did when he was alone.  

Ajiona wondered if she could pay him a visit but decided against it. If anyone ever found out she went to yuvaraju Bhalladeva's chamber barely dressed and late in the night, her teachers would most likely murder her then themselves. 

Sighing, she picked up the urn and started her way back to her quarters noting that her lack of handmaidens and guards were a serious breach of protocol. As a lady in her right, a guest of the royal family, Ajiona should have a servant at hand at all times, trailing behind her or a companion. Aadarshini had tried to foist some court ladies on her as companions, daughters of lower ministers and courtiers. She had declined as delicately as she could. The idea of a dozen or more women and men trailing after her was absurd but it was an absurdity she had grown used to despite her original reservations. But there were some days, which were most, that she wanted to be on her own and she didn't bother sneaking off when she wanted to be alone. She just told them to stay behind. But with her increasing responsibilities in the royal family, it was getting harder to having them stay back. If she was going to act the part, she should at least look it. 

It was a quiet walk back to her quarters and Pragya welcomed her with a dozen tsks, taking the urn from her and ushering her into the bath. 

Ajiona let out a moan of relief immediately she soaked herself into the warm bathwater and Pragya started massaging chāmpo into her hair. She had already spent some time soaking before she realized all her handmaidens were there except Mekhala.

"She wasn't too well, so I let her rest. I hope that wasn't too presumptuous of me."

Ajiona shrugged. She'd made Pragya head of her household for a reason. But, she realized she had really talked to Mekhala for the past one month and she missed their earlier easy relationship. Mekhala was always telling her tales with wide-eyed wonder as opposed to Pragya's jaded cynicism. It was almost a physical ache by the time, Pragya wrapped her up in an antariya.

"The breastplates came today," Pragya informed her as she brushed Ajiona's hair before braiding it into a long single plait. 

Ajiona felt herself perking up just slightly. "Let me see them."

They came in a sandalwood chest. Ajiona knelt before it, unlatching it and pushing up the lid. The breastplates were covered in a red silk cloth which she tugged away to reveal the product of her literal sweat. A smile curved her mouth. They were beautiful and she sure they would love this gifts. She closed the lid.

"I'll retire now," she told Pragya.

"As you please devi. Would you like someone to remain with you?"

She hated the formal way Pragya was talking to her. Mekhala wouldn't do that, she would offer to sing Ajiona to sleep or ask why she looked disturbed. At least the Mekhala she used to know, not the glowering one of recent.

"No. I'm fine. You may all leave."

It took less than a minute for all of them to leave, but Pragya returned a few moments later bearing a cup of milk.

"You'll need it," she said with a pointed glance. Ajiona felt a little grateful at the gesture but she didn't touch the milk. When she was truly alone she went out to her balcony.  

Sighing once again, she tried to relax and pour all her worries out into the night.