Breaking Barriers (GxG) [Completed]

You got a friend in me!

Have you ever felt like you are on a moving train that you can't get off of? Not literally, just the feeling like everything in life is too much. You try to slow down but nothing seems to work. Your tired, even when you get enough sleep, you feel like you have to do this, and that, oh and don't forget that friend that wants to hang with you. Or the English paper that is due tomorrow, while your parents want you to clean your room.

Have you ever felt like that?

For the past few months, I've been doing what I've been told. Helping my dad while doing everything in the house and keeping my grades up in school. I worked on the project with Hayley and we managed to finish it in time for the presentation. They often invite me to go shopping or just hang out with them after school.

I try to keep going. I really try, but lately, I feel like nothing I do is worth it. In the end, my dad will die, I will be left all alone. When that happens I'm sure Hayley, Cheryl and Audrey will leave me too.

If there was a button that could pause time for a while I would press it in a heartbeat. I would give up one of my legs or arms for it, just to get some peace of mind.

The only thing that keeps me going are my followers, my 2nd family. My YouTube has been growing steadily with a few spikes here and there. I live for them and them alone. Even though I know you should never live for someone else, but it's what keeps me going.

I was currently in my basement recording a song for my channel. I've recently stumbled across a great band from the Netherlands. I never liked Dutch music but this band had me crying my eyes out with their songs.

I was sitting behind my keyboard and started to play the first chords of the song.

"Are you ok?" I start to sing the 3 words I actually dread to hear from people. Most people would just say I'm fine or I'm good.

"Can we talk just for a little while?" No one actually talks anymore. Yeah sure, you can ask how someone is doing and how the weather is terribly hot or too cold or how there is too much rain, but most people don't talk about the things that matter.

"Is it worth the pain you feel? Does it keep you from going insane?"

"Cos it seems to me you're hangin' by a thread. As your tears fall like raindrops down." As I sing this part I feel a tear falling from my eye.

"Falling down one by one."

"And you seek for shelter. And you talk when everyone is out of the room." It's hard for me to open up to people. I'm afraid. Afraid they'll hurt me like everyone else.

"Is it really worth to feel this way? Don't you long to be ok?" I want to be like everyone else, feel like everyone else. I don't want to feel broken, lost, alone and scared all the time.
 
"As one by one by one fall down. Each day just carries on and on. But don't lose track. Every fire needs just a little spark to flame." I sing with all the emotion that I had been keeping in for so long. Music was the only time I could let out everything inside me, let out the anger, the bottled-up sadness and the feeling of being alone.

I was just about to wrap up the video when I hear a knock on my door. I stop the camera and yell for my dad to enter.

I hear footsteps come down the stairs as I start to play a tune that was stuck in my head all day.

"Didn't know you played the keyboard as well." A voice says startling me. I turn my head towards the voice and see Audrey standing at the bottom of the stair.

"I-uh," I stammer, trying to figure out an excuse. I didn't like people knowing about my hobby. I look towards the ceiling. "Wait, as well?" I ask as soon as the last word she said was processed by my brain. Yeah, I can be a little slow sometimes.