Breaking Barriers (GxG) [Completed]

The Road To...

What do you do when life comes crashing down on you? Leaving you alone with nothing but your own thoughts and feelings, nobody around to share them with.

3 years ago

Things started to go downhill after my breakdown on the side of the road. I felt completely and utterly alone, leaving a heavyweight in my heart. My heart was screaming for me to let out the emotions it was holding, my mind on the other hand was calm and empty.

Slowly the weight started to lift as the alcohol was setting in. I order another drink from the bartender. The bar I was currently sitting at was full of drunk, middle-aged people destressing after a hard day of work. The music was a little old school for my taste but it was the only bar that wasn't checking every once identification. Who in their right mind would come here unless they're at least over 35? Right, nobody.

"What is a young lady such as yourself doing in a club filled with old people like me." The bartender says handing me my drink with a warm smile. "The club down the street should be more up your alley, not that I don't want you here." He quickly adds raising his hands in the air.

"No offense taken, I was searching for a place where I knew most people would leave me alone," I say without any emotion in my voice. The bartender's eyebrow raised in amusement, knowing he's going to leave with a new story to add to his collection of stories told by drunk customers. I quickly down my drink and motion him for a refill, which he gladly does.

"So I assume you had a hard day?" He asks as he hands me another glass.

"Hard few years I guess." I take the glass in both hands as I stare intently at the liquid inside of it as if it holds all my answers. Without thinking I tell him everything up until a few hours ago. He stops me from time to time so he could help the costumers waiting for their refills.

"You know." He starts once he helped another customer. "Things might seem hard now, but in the end, it'll lead you on a path you never knew you were going to take. You'll evolve, learn and change yourself as new experiences are presented to you. It's up to you whether you think it's worth it or not, but never let anything stop you from taking risks and going for the thing you want in life."

That night I headed back to my van thinking about everything the bartender had said to me. I knew deep down he was right, it is up to me whether I think life is worth living. I might not know what'll come on my path, I might not know who I'll meet or where I'll end up, but I got something to fight for. I have to keep fighting for myself, create my own family.

When the alcohol had gotten out of my system the day after, so were the thoughts of wanting to fight for myself. The heavyweight n my heart was back and I longed for another night like the night before.

I started to chase a feeling which I was never going to feel again, a thought I was hoping to find and a way to keep the weight out of my heart. I traveled around the country, hoping my answers could be found at the bottom of the bottle, hoping to find someone to save me.

But no one ever did. I came to that realization after I had just entered another in a new state. A beautiful woman was tending to the costumers crowding around the bar. People were dancing to a song I didn't recognize, everyone in the club seems to know it, except for me.

This had never happened to me before, I was always in touch with everything around me. All I could do was stand frozen in the middle of the dance floor as the realization hit me.