Waindale

thirty-three. john aymon

"Hey, Kid."

Glancing up from the nest of blankets and pillows and clothes that I've made myself on my bed, I see my mother walk into my shadowy room. She comes to my depressed, laying figure, urges me to scoot over, then sits beside me.

"Grandma told me that you aren't feeling good today. That's okay. Missing one day of school here and there; it won't hurt," she says and brushes the top of my head with her fingers. "I just wanted to check-in. Grandma said she'll make you something to eat if you're hungry."

I shake my head.

"Maybe later then. You know, this reminds me of when you were younger. Before bed, I used to read you stories and we'd be sat like this. I would read and play with your hair and you'd be out in minutes. Remember? Well, it was pretty cute. I know it hurts, Wren. God does it hurt. I remember when I was your age, and I had my heart broken in this godforsaken town."

I shift a little—curious.

"It was one of the hardest weeks of my life. You know what, let me just tell you. I was a senior in high school and I had this boyfriend that grandma actually showed you in my yearbook. John Aymon. We were picturesque, you know? He was on the football team and all the girls loved him. I wasn't a cheerleader or anything like that—you know me—but I had some friends and people knew my name. Probably not for the best reasons, but I caught John's attention and suddenly we'd been dating for a few months. He was my first boyfriend, and boy was I in love.

"We did everything together. I would go to his football games, he would take me to the movies and to the park. There used to be an ice rink—we'd go there a lot too. Obviously Tali was my best friend so she would hang out with us too. One time, she wanted to meet up with some students that she knew from the Academy. Little did I know what she really is—back then I had no clue. Anyway, John, Tali, and I met up with this group of students and in them was this guy named Jack. Like the teenage girl I was, I thought Jack was the hottest guy ever. Bless my poor soul, but suddenly I was over John and willing to do anything to get Jack's attention. Tali and I started hanging out with these Academy students and I wouldn't tell John where I was or who I was actually with. I was a terrible girl, Wren. Really. Eventually, after all my efforts, Jack started giving me the light of day. We hung out a few times by ourselves. There was something about him—even to this day, I've never met anyone like him. He had this effect on me.

"Jack and I got close. I was so convinced that we were going to be together that I broke things off with John. It hurt him a lot. He stayed clear of me at school. He put all of his energy into football, and we actually made it pretty far in that state championship stuff. Back to Jack, we had been seeing each other for a month or two and I wanted to make things official. I wanted Jack to be my one and only—that's how smitten I was. Completely entranced. He could do no wrong in my eyes. But, when I gave him my all, when I asked him to be mine, he broke my heart. He said that I wasn't the one for him, even though I knew he was the one for me. I couldn't understand. We had done a lot together, you get me? I wasn't just going to let him slip through my fingertips.

"That led to him turning me down the hard way. Saying horrible things. Really rubbing it in that I wasn't good enough for him. It did the job, though. I understood that we weren't going to be together and I gave up trying. I laid in bed for days. Grandma couldn't get me up even to shower. In the darkest of moments, I thought about throwing my life away—drinking, drugs, anything to feel better. Thank god Tali Smith was there for me. She saved me from a lot of trouble.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, Kid. What about John Aymon? Well, we graduated. I left Waindale and he went on with his life. Five years later, I was in Seattle living, trying to get published while working as a receptionist. I went to this bar at a hotel one night with some friends and he was there staying at the hotel. He looked the same; he looked good. We talked. I apologize for how terrible I was to him and the conversation just flew by. A few drinks later and we went to his hotel room."