Waindale

forty-six. alone

"How was your mother's?"

It was nice. We went out in the snow for a bit to build a snowman like we used to during Christmas vacation when we would come to visit grandma. I pretended like I was cold, and when we went inside, grandma had made hot chocolate. We watched old Christmas movies and laid on the couch with blankets and pillows and each other. It was nice. It was what I needed. They took my mind off of Adam for a little while, but when the sun set, and I was left on my own in that bedroom, he came back to me. I stared out my window like I used to and prayed he'd show up, and just like old times, he didn't.

"It was nice," I say as Adam's mother brings me inside. "Have you heard—"

"No," she interrupts. "Nothing. They haven't found him."

I set my bag down and sit on the couch in the living room Adam and I never use. It's the living room where I first sat down with his mother. I've been feeling dizzy lately, and tired. It makes me feel human again.

"Ben is coming by soon," she says, standing before me. "He'll be updating me on what's going on. You're welcome to sit in on our meeting if you like."

"Is everything okay?"

She nods. "I'm sure. I just want to stay updated. I need to know what's going on—someone has to take responsibility."

"Okay. I'd be happy to sit in."

She eyes me for a moment, causing me to look up at her once again. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Just a little tired. Nauseous," I tell her, leaning back. "It's nothing."

"If you insist."

"I—I just—what if I went out there? What if I was in trouble? It's worked before. He'll come back if he thinks I'm in danger."

His mother sighs. "You were in danger when he left."

"There has to be something. What if I was being attacked? What if I was hanging off a cliff?"

"Wrenley, you're pregnant. Let's not be so ridiculous."

"I just—I don't know how much longer I can—"

"You must," she says bluntly. "Even if my son doesn't return for months, you must make it without him.

We hold each other's gaze. I take in a slow, steady breath before standing up. "I will, for him. Everything I do is for him. I'm going to have this baby; Adam will have an heir, and his pack will be secure." I touch my small belly and say, "It's all for him."

"I assumed, well, I assumed that my son doesn't know about the baby. He wouldn't leave if he knew you were pregnant."

I watch her. She turns away.

"Or maybe that's what I hope. Does he know? Does Adam know that you're pregnant?"

"It's complicated. I tried to tell him before I was completely sure myself, and he didn't believe me. I was relying on my intuition, but he needs evidence. He needs to see this." I touch my stomach again, hidden by layers of clothing.

"So he doesn't know," his mother clarifies.

I shake my head. "No, I don't think he does."

"But you tried to tell him that you thought you might be? And he didn't believe you?"

"He got upset. He made it very clear that he does not want a baby."

She pauses for a moment. "Wait... He made that clear? Is that why he left? Because you said you might be pregnant? Believe me, Wrenley, my son understands his position and the demands that follow suit, and I apologize for such behavior on his behalf."