REPLAY [ krtele / kritz / krii7y ]

sᴇᴛᴛᴇ

TRIGGER WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA

TRIGGER WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA

TRIGGER WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA

TRIGGER WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA

TRIGGER WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA

STAGE TWO, DAY FOUR:

the day started with john keyes climbing off of a plane, getting through airport security and looking around for a sign that said his name. he was halfway down the line when he saw the shell of a boy he once knew.

darryl looked partially the same in the face, skinner with his cheekbones sunk in just a bit. his hair was messier then usual and there were dark bags under his eyes. the body, however..darryl's clothes were almost falling off of him, his sweatshirt was far too big now and he had definitely lost an unhealthy amount of weight.

john felt a sinking feeling of guilt, he had taken away one of darryl's best friends by being selfish..he had then taken away another by leaving. 

he left darryl with nothing but the fragments of their time in high school, he wished he could just go back and redo it all. he'd let jaren know about the surgery before it was too late, even if it meant he'd never be able to have any fraction of a relationship with him.

he wondered if darryl would look this way if jaren smith was still there, he wondered if he'd look this way if evan and jon were still together before he left. it didn't matter, though, what john wondered. because wondering wouldn't help, wondering would not fix his mistakes. wondering would not help darryl gain his weight, or become happy again.

but that's when darryl saw him, squealing loudly and throwing the sign with his name on it to a boy behind him- lui. darryl ran over, hugging john tightly. "we missed you, john, welcome home!" darryl smiled, john smiling softly and patting his back.

lui was stunned for a minute before throwing the sign down and running over, joining the hug. evan, jon, and david followed quickly, john chuckling in the middle of a group hug.

the six boys broke apart after a few minutes, john's smile slowly falling. he wondered how happy he'd be right now if he could see jaren in the crowd, he wondered how happy he'd be if he could see tyler...or if toby were by his side, kissing his cheek. but john shook his grief off after a moment, now was a time to rejoice.

⏪

the six boys walked sorrowfully, seeming to have the same idea as john as they walked through the rows of stone. they stopped in front of one, darryl sniffling. they'd stopped by tyler's grave for a moment so darryl could talk to him, but now they were at jaren's and john felt just as helpless as he did on the day of the funeral. all he could think was jaren was six feet under the ground, stuck inside of a wooden box. alone.

john sat near the stone quietly, whispering, "hi, milk boy. we miss you." before lui sat next to him.

"john's here, jaren." lui's voice rang out carefully, a small pout on his face. "...tyler would've wanted to be here, you know that. darryl's doing better, isn't that right, darryl?"

darryl looked up, wiping his tears and nodding softly. "'m doing a lot better, jaren."

"don't tell them i said this," lui whispered, john smiling softly at the boy. everyone knew that lui liked to pretend that jaren's grave wasn't stone. that it was really jaren. "but i think jon and evan are gonna get back together."

john smiled at this news, nodding. "and i know you wouldn't want me to be moping around everywhere, so i applied to a few colleges and got into a pretty good one. you always said i could, milk boy."

david sat next to lui when the boy started sniffling, wrapping his arms around the tiny boy. none of them looked up, but john had a sneaking suspicion that jaren would've been huffing.

"i don't like seeing you all so sad," he could imagine the boy saying, "can't we do something that'll make lui laugh?"

and the other boys would chuckle and say, "lui laughs at everything, smitty."

but jaren's dead and he'd never speak again.

john wiped his eyes, darryl sitting next to him. the two boys hugged while they cried, each mourning one of their best friends.

⏪

toby sighed, walking into her parents house and setting her bags down. she couldn't get the image of a lilac out of her head, john keyes thought he could make her fall in love in time. you'd think he'd learn something from the deadly case of jaren smith.

but toby had already come up with a plan, so she smiled and hugged her mother. "hi, honey, how are you?"

"i'm good, momma." toby whispered, smiling.

"don't call him honey." toby's father called, toby's smile dropping after a moment.

"i thought dad wasn't here." toby murmured, toby's mother whispering a quick apology.

"i can't believe you'd support that delusion, gina." toby's father snapped, toby shifting uncomfortably. 

"james, we talked about this." gina murmured, wrapping her arm around her daughter's waist and leading her upstairs.

"i told you i wasn't going to let my son think he was something he's not! i will not tolerate you letting him sit in confusion." james yelled, gina sighing.

"i'm sorry, honey, did you bring any friends home with you? i can call you home after your father leaves." she whispered, toby shrugging and nodding softly.

"yeah, i brought the boys." she whispered, gina smiling.

"you should go out with them today, honey."

toby agreed quietly, going to mason's house swiftly and hugging him as soon as he opened the door. mason was surprised at first, raising an eyebrow at the girl. "hey, toby, what's up?"

his eyebrow dropped when he saw the tears dripping down her face, frowning instantly. "toby, what's wrong?"

"just my dad," toby whispered, wiping her eyes quietly, "he's being an asshole, he's always such an asshole."

"it's okay, toby." mason assured, hugging the girl tightly. "i'm here for you, it's okay."

toby rested her head on mason's chest, slowly relaxing and murmuring, "i love you."

mason pulled away from the hug quickly, shaking toby's hands off of him. "toby, uh, you know i don't...you know i don't like you like that, right?"

toby's eyes widened, laughing quickly. "dude, i meant as friends." she lied quickly, mason nodding and looking up when his mom called him.

"i gotta go, toby, i'll talk to you tomorrow?" mason offered, smiling awkwardly and walking back inside after toby agreed softly.

toby let her tears fall when mason shut the door, choking slightly and rushing back to her house. her parents were too busy arguing to even notice she came in, she choked on her tears, grabbing a paper and writing swiftly.