it's all my fault. (upstead)

can you stay?

Kim's POV

God I feel so sorry for her. Hailey doesn't deserve this. She's crying so hard on my shoulder right now and all I can feel is her pain right now. She doesn't deserve this at all. No one does. Tears start to form in my eyes because I feel so sorry for her but I hold back my tears to stay strong for her. She needs a friend right now, and I have to be that friend for her. After a continuous cycle of her breaking down, her tears dried up and she got up. I got up with her and gave her a hug. "I love you so much Hailey, please please if you ever need anything, talk to me." I say. "I'm more than just someone you work with, I'm your friend. I care about you." I say. She lets go of the hug and nods and forms a slight smile, but the rest of her face just looks broken. Red eyes. Dark under her eyes. She looks so tired. I even noticed her bruised and cut knuckles but I don't want to point it out, so I just smile back.

Hailey's POV

Kim is such a good friend to me but as much as I would want to tell her about whenever I feel down, I know I won't be able to do it. I go to wash my face and mouth, while Kim waits for me. Once I'm done, I walk to her and she puts her arm around me and we walk back out together.

I walk past Adam and Rojas. I can tell they noticed my red eyes but I ignored it and continued to walk to my desk. I sat down and started doing some work. Kim smiles at me then goes to her desk and sits.

Jay and Voight walked back to the desks after being in the interrogation room. We all discussed the case for a few hours. It was almost the end of the shift but Voight gave me and Jay one last job to do. He looked at me without saying anything, and we walked to the locker room and grabbed our bags so that as soon as we were done with the job, we would go straight home after taking the witness to the department. He looked at me and moved his head to the side quickly, to indicate that we had a job to get done. I got up and followed him into the car.

When we got to the car, both of us got in. Jay gave me a glance and looked worried. Almost as if he was about to cry. He turned his head back to the windshield and he started the car and began to drive. I ignored it and continued to look out into the distance through the window.

When we reached, we got out and we walked towards the suspect. We started questioning the suspect and after a long time of arguing with the witness, they had agreed to come back to the department. Jay and I took the witness to the car and we all got in. Jay started driving to the department. The ride back to the department was very quiet, no words were said.

When we reached the department, we dropped the witness off at the desk area and Voight took them into the "coffee" room to ask them questions. We all had to stick around for an hour or so, until Voight was done. We all just hung around at our desks getting any extra work done. When Voight was done, he dismissed us all and we all grabbed our things and went out the backdoor to get into our cars. We said our goodbyes to each other. As my car was still being cleaned and fixed, I needed Jay to drop me off. I'm totally not down for that but I have no other choice. We both get into the car. He doesn't look at me and just starts driving. I can't help but feel guilty for this "wall" between us, and now I feel like shit about it. It's all because of me. This brings back the bad memories I had as a child. When my dad would constantly yell at me and me and my siblings because of what we did. He would even get physical at times. This is because of what we did. Especially what I did. It was always because of me. Everything going wrong in my life, it's always because of me.. I take a deep breath and exhale, trying to ignore the memories and thoughts in my head.

When we reach my house I grab my bags, and open the door.

Jay's POV

I can't do this anymore. I want to help her, but she's not letting me. I need to help her though whether she likes it or not. You see the thing about Hailey is. She's not just my partner. She's my best friend. She helped me through tough times, especially when I was getting flashbacks of when I was a soldier. She pushed me to go to therapy and I'm in such a better place now because of her. She makes me feel safe. She makes me feel like I can be myself. She makes me feel so special. Besides the tough times, we have so many good memories together. From getting drinks at Molly's together, to having dance battles at each other's houses, to going to Blackhawks games together. I can't lose that. I just can't. She means so much to me. Losing her, would feel like losing a part of me. I start to feel the tears forming in my eyes. "Hailey" I say with my broken voice. She looks at me but says nothing. She closes the door. "I care so much about you. I can't have you being like this. It kills me. You're not ok, and that's fine. But I need to help you get through this. I need to. I can't afford to lose someone so special to me. You mean so much to me. Hailey, you're my best friend. You helped me through the toughest times, and now it's time I do the same." I say. Her eyes start watering. "I-" she says but before she continues, she just breaks down. I bury her head into my shoulders. I start crying too because I couldn't hold it in for longer. After continuously crying, when we calmed down a little, she opened the car door. She was about to leave, but she looked back at me. "C- can you stay?" She says. If she needs me, I'm going to be there for her, no matter when or where. I'd do anything for her. I nod and I grab my bags. I open my car door. We both leave the car and go to her house, after locking my car.