A/N:
As of 2/4/20...
________
She didn't understand it either. She was just as confused as everyone else. No, not even. She didn't really have an opinion on it, she just knew what she felt, and she stood by it. She wasn't making that mistake again.
They had made eye contact once again, and it was hard to pull away as always. His eyes were like magnets she was always pulled to, and he drew her in. Inside them were deep pools of emotions, ones she felt was hers. It was just as hard pulling away from his gaze as it was as easy for her to fall in it.
Sometimes it just felt completely abnormal. It felt like someone was literally turning her head in his direction where he was. She didn't mind it, not at all, she loved seeing him.
She just wished he'd talk to her.
Staring meant nothing to her now. What was the pull in for without an act to follow it? If he felt something, wanted something, he'd do it, wouldn't he?
With that thought, she remained neutral. But the thought of him not wanting her also hurt.
But she didn't care, right?
Or was that just her numbing her emotions again?
....
...
Who cares? He was the one missing out. She didn't need him. She wasn't worried one bit. He'd come to her eventually.
Eventually.
Now, to just put it out her mind.
But that was hard too when the universe just seemed to keep shooting him her way.
What was the point? She definitely wasn't going to say anything. She couldn't. With how their relationship ended, he had to be the first to approach her.
Did he really think looks were going to make anything happen? Not like she gave signs anyway. She always kept a neutral expression. You couldn't tell if she cared or not, she knew that. But these last few times, he's been catching her off guard. Her emotions were more on display.
That was okay.
It was okay.
Nothing would happen anyway.
Eventually...
Eventually it would. She just had to sit and wait.
And if he didn't?
If he...didn't...
If he didn't, that'd be okay to.
Because she didn't need him. She wasn't even sure if she wanted him. She didn't know who he was now, not that his past self was any good. She wondered how she could ever like a guy like that since he was always the type of guys she'd complain about.
Like really?
Him?
But she knew it was special. A special kind of relationship that no one had to understand. It was hers, and theirs. No, it was hers and his, no one else's. They didn't even have to understand. And she'd leave it at that, because no details were needed.
Tsk, they didn't even date before...
But they sure acted like it.
While him, himself being in one with another girl. And ever since he exposed that truth, distance was her only answer.
How could she just be friends with him with the connection they had? It was too much, too intense, too perfect, and thats why he broke the fantasy, to be in the reality. And they both pushed each other away.
Now it's just two strangers with a past.
A story they want to continue.
Do books ever stay unwritten?
Maybe their story will tell.
"You should talk to him."
That's what everyone says. They don't understand though. And why should it be her? Hasn't she given enough signs she was still into him?
What did she owe him?
Nothing.
And she wasn't even asking for a price to repay her. She just wanted him. However he came. But he had to be good, she wasn't taking his garbage anymore.
And how would she anyway?
And, and, and. Was she coming up with too many excuses?
Maybe.
Maybe she wasn't ready for herself. He was practically a reflection of her.
Literally.
"Maybe it's not time for you guys to be together yet."
No.
No.
Please don't say that.
I-
She knew it was the truth, it was obvious. Duh. But don't say it.
Don't ever say it.
"Do you have to be with him?"
Yes! You don't understand, you wouldn't, couldn't-
Shut up, you're alone in this. A journey of self.
Right, she was alone. No one had advice for her. That was okay. She could handle it herself. She's always had that spunk. That power to save herself from anything. Anyone.
So what was the problem? Anyone? Anywho?
Guess she would just sit in her room again, alone, blasting sad music.
Again.
What a cycle.
How do I get close to you?
No one seemed to know.
No one seemed to understand it.
She didn't understand it either. She was just as confused as everyone else.
