[C] 'EUPHORIA'

F.E.A.R

" [ BREAKING ] FORMER MEMBER OF STRAY KIDS, FELIX FINALLY WAKE UP"

" [ BREAKING ] FELIX WAKE UP FROM COMA "

" [ BREAKING ] STRAY KIDS WERE SEEN AT HOSPITAL "

" [ BREAKING ] FELIX REGAIN HIS CONSCIOUSNESS AFTER 6 MONTHS IN COMA "

STAYs around the world rejoice with news and various hashtag are trending in worldwide as a support for him. At least they know, Felix regain his consciousness again and no one can deny it. Six months surely feel like six years, waiting for the news and celebrate it.

But they forget one thing, Felix loses his abilities. Stray Kids waving happily to Felix, but Felix didn't wave back. His eyes just stare at one place, not moving even a bit. He's only blinking his eyes and not more than that.

" Lixie ahh... "

Felix's eyebrows frown, he tries to recognize the voice. He didn't lose his memories, only his eyesight. Felix tilt his head and he stutters few words. " Min... Minho Hyung? "

Han hold his chest, " Felix, no... It's me, Han Hyung... Remember me? "

Felix let out a small chuckle, " Guess I need to learn how to recognize your voice Han Hyung since I can't see you right now."

" What do you mean Lixie?? "

Hyunjin looks confuse, and he sees a smile cracks on Felix face.

" I can't see you guys. It darks here. "

" What do you mean Hyung?! It's freaking day light here!"

Felix sure that voice belongs to Jeongin, only Jeongin call him Hyung. Felix pat his side, asking Jeongin to sit beside him, and Jeongin did. He sits beside Felix and Felix tries to hold his hand.

" Can I touch your face, Innie? "

Jeongin nod, and he brings Felix's hand towards his face. Felix touch Jeongin's face and he smile. " You're still the same Innie ah... But I guess you lost your weight a bit, right? "

" Why are you rubbing my face Lix Hyung? ", Jeongin asks again.

" Because I'm blind Jeongin ahh... "

Jeongin startle and he shakes his head, he waves his hands in front of Felix face and no response. He looks at other members, and they are covering their mouth. Their mind recap back what the doctor said to them.

" You're kidding Lee Felix!"

Minho grab Felix's collar, only to break his own heart when he sees Felix's eyes didn't flinch a bit. The eyes look blank and no soul at all, but it has tons of sad story. Woojin pull Minho to the back, and he hug him. Minho is the most fragile member for now.

They are trying to calm down themselves before speaks, their words aren't stutter. It just they didn't believe it. They pray every night that Felix will be fine and can join them again as SKZ members.

Few weeks pass by and that night, Felix ask the members to turn on VLive. He really misses STAY and want to say hi to them at least. Felix stills in hospital for further treatment on his lower body. Chan open their official VLive account and greet the fans after 8 months on hiatus. That's the very first content they make for STAY after long hiatus.

" Jjaa... We have a small gift for our beautiful STAY. You always ask us to stay as nine members and we did! Say hi to Woojin Hyung and Felix!", Han's soothing voice echo through the room.

The VLive goes crazy, how come it didn't?! SKZ goes live with 9 members again!

Felix wave to the camera after Hyunjin help him, he smiles and says he's okay. Don't worry about him. An account name skz9or0 asks a question, " Did Lixie Oppa blind? I can't see his eyes movement; I mean he's totally blank!"

Felix chuckles and he admit it. " Yes, I'm blind right now or to be exact forever, and my lower body isn't function anymore. So, technincally I'm a handicapped person from now on. That's why I can't fit myself in SKZ anymore."

SKZ members choke themselves upon hearing the cheerful confession, how Felix can do this?! They are not strong enough to speak about Felix disabilities to fans, yet he admits it publicly.

Their VLive clip goes trending around the worldwide after the confession and even it makes to the news headlines.

" [BREAKING] FORMER MEMBER OF STRAY KIDS, FELIX IS HANDICAPPED PERSON"

"[BREAKING] THE REAL REASON OF FELIX WITHDRAWN FROM SKZ EXPOSED"

"[BREAKING] FELIX MAKES A SHOCKING CONFESSION"

JYP shakes his head after reading all the news, after all the youngest boy group in his company surely a big head. No one can stop them, and this is the very first news fans around the world know. Maybe, they are right. What's the reason to hide all of this? Soon or later, Felix will show up in public and fans will ask him too.

Felix is there to hold on and cheering on the members, he wants them to continue their world tour again. He's not part of SKZ anymore, so there is no problem to continue with the world tour. Felix knows how to play the hidden card and hide his breaking heart and sorrowful pain in front of the members.

He laughs and smile like a normal person, but the truth is? He isn't smiling, his heart break into pieces. He wants to be part of the group. That's how we call the truth untold, it's hidden perfectly behind the poker face. That night, he stays at his house alone. Yes, SKZ ask him to move into the next apartment of their dorm. At least, they can take care of him, and each weekend, Woojin and Kang Ahjumma will come to his house.

Felix is alone his bedroom; he didn't bother to turn on the lights even he knows where the main power is. He just wants to be in this darkness, he can't lie anymore. He can't fake himself anymore, he can't pretend to be okay when he's struggling to survive each day.

The darkness brings a new music to his ear, the silence brings a new rhythm to listen and his own humming become a lullaby for him. He just feels weird, the loud voices in his head now are silent, but it become louder for him. His hand already numbs to the pain, and Felix remove his sweatshirt.

Only leaving the sweat pant, he climbs to his bed and sit straight at the head of the bed. Felix searching for something in his pocket, and he found it. A genuine smile carves on his face, the razor blade. He hides there all the time only to make sure he feels at ease; he knows the demon won't let him go.

Felix close his eyes; his ears listen to their last song together. Levanter and Never-Ending Story are on loop, he loves both songs so much. They bring different meaning for him; he didn't cry anymore. He knows his pain will end later, and without any regret he makes deep slit on his wrist. Both of his wrist now bleeding, and the white sheet turns into red sheet, Felix is happy.

The darkness in his eyes slowly shows stars, and he want to be one of the stars. He smiles without any tears or regret; he knows the demon win the battle, but he didn't care. Because he finally can be one of the stars, he wants to shine bright once again in a new form.

His ears slowly didn't hear anything, the songs still on the loop but the silence overcome it. He can listen to another voice, it belongs to Rachel and Olivia, their laugh feels real right now! Felix is giggling and he exhales his last breath and without no one notice, the broken angel leaves the world. No more pain and silent battle, he found his own ending.