come back to me - taeten

part IV

Six months later, neither Taeyong nor Ten had talked with each other.

And now, Taeyong is depressed. He has no one by his side ; no one to help him through this.

So, he wears a smiley mask, even when he is the saddest. He wears it everywhere that isn't his apartment and with everyone that isn't himself.

Taeyong has never thought that being away from his lover would be this hard and feel like that. He thought he'd feel as described in the cheesy books he read in the past but, he doesn't feel like it at all. Taeyong's broken heart isn't bleeding and his tears have stopped falling.

No, his heart is being oppressed, as if someone had taken it in their hands and is crushing it until it explodes. His tears had fallen a lot the first weeks but now there are none. Now Taeyong is just sad, with no will to live.

Of course he knows Ten will come back to him, but he doesn't know when. And the wait is killing him. What if he comes back in another 6 months ? Or in a year ? Maybe two ? Taeyong can't bear the endless delay. And today he's had enough.

So he tries to get drunk. A beer, two, three, four ; a half bottle of vodka and a half of rum, but the only result he has is feeling sick and puking in the toilet. He's forgotten nothing, not even for a little while. He just feels more broken than he did before.

As he cleans his face, he looks in the mirror and sees his face for the first time in a while. "Look at me Ten, my baby, I'm so fucked-up without you"