"So who's this guy you like?" Hunk asked Lance as they sat themselves on the couch opposite to where Lotor was sitting. He and Lance both ignored Lotor's disgruntled sigh at being interrupted mid book.
"His name is Gnarlak," Lance replied, "He's from that planet we saved last week and we've been space Skyping since then. I want to ask him out with my fly moves and hot flying."
"Do you have a plan for asking him out?"
"I'm going to say to him, 'Are you an alien? Because that ass is out of this world.' And since he's from a space and therefore an alien, he'll say yes. Then, bing bang boom, I'll have an alien boyfriend."
"Really?" Lotor asked. Hunk and Lance turned to look at him. "Is that the best you can do? A lewd compliment about his rear?"
"I'd like to see you do better," Lance protested, standing up and pointing accusatorily, "I've been practicing my technique for ages."
Lotor rolled his eyes. "I've got far better things to do with my time than to compete in a flirting contest."
"I never mentioned a flirting contest. But now that you did-"
"I was making fun of you."
"Too late! The first one of us to make someone react wins the title of Suavest."
"React positively," Hunk added, "We don't want any lawsuits against us because one of you found a loophole."
Lance opened his mouth, about to comment on Hunk's choice of words, but didn't get a chance to speak because Hunk spoke again. "Or because someone made a joke about the word 'loophole.'"
Lance closed his mouth. Lotor finally stood, putting a piece of paper into his book to hold his place. "Fine, I will participate as a way to get you to leave me alone. As long as I may chose the person with whom I 'flirt.' I don't wish to flirt with anyone with whom I am not truly interested."
"Nice!" Lance exclaimed. "Who's it going to be? Allura? Me?"
That's how Lance found himself crouching behind the Blue lion, watching as Lotor approached Keith.
"He's slicking his hair back?" Lance whispered, "Who does he think he is, Brad Pitt?"
"Shhh," Hunk shushed him. "I wanna hear what happens."
"Ah, Keith," Lotor said, "Just where I thought you'd be."
Keith looked up at Lotor. "You were looking for me?"
"Of course. For whom else would I be looking? You are by far the most interesting person on this ship, perhaps the whole Empire."
Keith laughed. "You hit your head or something?"
"Lotor's got to be cheating, right?" Lance asked. "I didn't know Keith could laugh like that. He's all... giggly?"
"My head is fine, Darling." Lotor said, "Though not as fine as yours. You truly are extraordinary, both in personality and in beauty. It's always a pleasure to be in your company."
Keith didn't answer, looking shocked at Lotor's proclamation of admiration.
Lotor leaned in closer. "Your eyes are like starlight, captivating as the night sky. I wish to never look away, and yet I fear that if I do not, I will become forever lost within them."
"Woah," Hunk whispered from beside Lance, "That was classy."
"It was.... fine," Lance replied.
"Keith certainly seems to think so."
Lance looked back to Keith, whose face was considerably flushed.
"Oh. Thanks."
"And that's not even mentioning your incredible skill with a sword. Where did you learn to fight like that? Looking at your technique is like watching a limbowan dance in the wind."
"I don't know what that is."
"I assure you," Lotor said, leaning in even closer, "It's a compliment."
"Lotor, what are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm flirting with you. Would you like me to stop?"
Keith shook his head. "I didn't say that. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't... misjudging things. I'm not great at reading emotions."
"You are, just not human emotions. I don't blame you. We hybrids tend to have a preference for one of our parents' body language. Yours is incredibly Galran."
"I didn't know that. I guess there's a lot I don't know about Galra stuff."
"I could help you learn, if you'd like. I hear that study dates are quite popular on Earth, and I'm never one to pass up a romantic venture to the castle's library."
"A- a date? Like, with you?"
Lotor placed his hand against the side of Keith's face. Keith didn't pull away. "Is this alright?"
Keith nodded and began to blush. Lotor chuckled at Keith's flustered appearance. "You're even more gorgeous when you're embarrassed. I wonder what else I can do to make you blush?"
Keith reached up and kissed Lotor on the lips. "Why don't you find out?"
Hunk and Lance looked at each other. "I hate to say it, bud, but I think you just lost."
"I'm not even mad. I've got so many new pick up lines to try now. You wrote them down, right?"
Hunk held up a pad of paper that Lance hadn't realized he was holding. "You know I did."
Lance looked at the list and frowned. "These felt a lot cooler when Lotor was saying them."
"They're waaaayyyy less classy now."
"Maybe if I say them with a British accent?"
"Try one on me."
"Ooooooh, youh eyes arh like stahlight, captivating as the night sky. I wish to nevah look away, and yet I feayah that if I do not, I will become lost within them."
"That's the worst British accent I've ever heard."
"I was going for Welsh."
"Well, that was bad for Welsh, too."
"I literally- wait. Where did Lotor and Keith go?"
Lance looked around and saw that Keith and Lotor had left, presumably together. "I think Lotor's flirting worked too well."
Notes: Lotor and Keith leaving to make out in one of their rooms while everyone is distracted is my aesthetic. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
