I recommend you listen to the song to go with it, I nearly started crying writing this
Don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
"Tell me what else happened Toby, I want to know the full details of Sonnets pranking," I ask my smiling weakly at Tobin as she sits on the edge of my bed
"Oh God, well it started with her roping me in on it, as usual, and wanting to get back at Lindsey for stealing her shampoo without telling her" Tobin explains taking a hold of my hand and fiddling with the ring that rests on my pale fingers
"she did all that because of shampoo!" I ask in shock staring at a smiling Tobin
"I know right when she told me her prank I thought it was a little extreme" She explains
"yet you still went along with it," I say raising an eyebrow at her while letting out a few coughs
"It was too good of an opportunity to miss out on," She says rubbing my palm, something she always does to calm me down
I listen closely to Tobin enthusiastically telling me what went down today and I can't help but stare at her face while she tells me it in pure happiness. The way her eyes sparkle in excitement remembering key part of the mission she was involved in.
I find myself zoning out of the story pretty soon and just having a small smile rested on my lips looking at the love of my life in front of me, holding onto my pale hand as I sit here hooked up to machines.
I don't wanna fall asleep
I don't wanna pass away
I been thinking of our future cause I'll never see those days
I don't know why this has happened, but I probably deserve it
I tried to do my best, but you know that I'm not perfect
I been praying for forgiveness, you been praying for my health
When I leave this earth, hoping you'll find someone else
Cause yeah, we still young there so much we haven't done
Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son
I wish it could be me, but I won't make it off this bed
I hope I go to heaven, so I see you once again
My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings
Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending
"I love you Toby, you know that right?" I ask her and watch as she chuckles at me
"of course I do, because you tell me every time I see you just like I do the same to you," She says planting a sweet kiss on my bald head
"I want you to be happy Toby, I want you to get married and have kids, I want you to carry out your dream to play for the US, I want you to go out there and live your life like you want to," I say wrapping my fingers into hers
"I don't get what you're saying babe, I already know what I want to do and it's all with you" She says all smiling making my heart break inside for her
"I know Toby but if something happens to me, I want you to go out there and find love again" I say looking at her with a few tears welling up in my eyes
"Why are you talking like this? The doctors said you're getting better, nothing is going to happen to you" Tobin says looking down at me concerned.
"I just want you to know that, and all I want in life is for you to be happy," I say not being able to build up the courage to tell her
"good job I'm happy with you then," She says flashing me her smile again taking every bit of strength I have left in me to not break down in front of her right now.
Don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
And I, don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
"I've got to get home now before Sonnet burns the kitchen down! But I'll see you tomorrow, okay baby" Tobin tells me giving me a hug before she leaves.
I hold on extra tight this time not wanting the moment to end but knowing it has to happen.
She kisses me on the lips and I close my eyes trying to keep that feeling in my mind for as long as possible, the taste of her favourite vanilla lip balm resting on mine.
"I love you" She says blowing me a kiss
"I love you Tobin Heath, don't ever forget that," I say biting the inside of my cheeks in hopes to hold back the chocked sobs that are trying to escape my mouth
"I love you too," She says chuckling as she walks out my hospital room for the last time.
I'm happy that you're here with me
I'm sorry if I tear up
When me and you were younger you would always make me cheer up
Taking goofy videos while walking through the park
You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark
Cuddle in your sheets, sang me sound asleep
I sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03
Sundays went to church, on Mondays watched a movie
Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me
"are you sure you don't want anyone here with you Ms Neilson, not your girlfriend?" The doctor asks as he fiddles with the medicine tubes that are in my body
"no, I don't want her to see me like this, I want her last memory to be a happy one not of this," I say sending the man a small smile
"Okay miss, you let us know when you're ready and well do it," He says taking a hold of my hand
"I love you" I whisper into the air one last time before nodding at the man next to me.
Don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
And I, don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
"He's going to take good care of you up there" The doctor whispers to me as I let my eyelids close shut
"I know," I say barely above a whisper, a small smile dancing across my lips as I taste the vanilla chapstick one last time and see Tobin's beautiful smile staring at me.
I let the darkness take over, my last thought being of the day we met on a how happy I've been ever since.
Don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
And I, don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
It'll get you up and going out of bed
