SIX the Musical One Shots (Discontinued)

Ex-Wives

After memorising the new script, the queens feel prepared for their first performance with it. "Everyone ready?" Parr asks, glancing at her friends and fellow ex-wives.
"Ready," Katherine of Aragon says. Anna and Jane nod, while the two beheaded cousins give her a thumbs up.
"Then let's bring the house down."
"We're not actually going to bring the house down, right?" Katheryn asks.
"It's a figure of speech." The curtain is in place, and the six queens line up, ready to walk out.

They stand with their backs to the audience, their courage building.

Aragon: Divorced
Boleyn: Beheaded
Seymour: Died
Cleves: Divorced
Howard: Beheaded
Parr: Survived

"And tonight, Wattpad," Aragon turns to the audience, and the other queens take their places. "We are..."
"LIVE!"

Aragon: Listen up, let me tell you a story.
Boleyn: A story that you think you heard before.
Seymour: We know you know our names and our fame and our faces.
Cleves: Know all about the glories and the disgraces.
Howard: I'm done cause all this time I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme
Parr: So I've picked up a pen and a microphone
All: History's about to get overthrown

Aragon: Divorced
Boleyn: Beheaded
Seymour: Died
Cleves: Divorced
Howard: Beheaded
Parr: Survived
All: But just for you tonight
We're Divorced, Beheaded, Live!

Welcome to the show
To the Historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling
Get ready for the truth that will be revealing
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

Aragon: Wattpad, make some noise!
All you ever hear and read about
Boleyn: Is our ex and the way it ended
Seymour: But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush
Cleves: You're gonna find out how we got unfriended
Howard: Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice 'cause we're taking you to Court
Parr: Every Tudor rose has its thorns, and you're gonna hear 'em live, in consort.

Aragon: Divorced
Boleyn: Beheaded
Seymour: Died
Cleves: Divorced
Howard: Beheaded
Parr: Survived
All: But just for you tonight
We're Divorced, Beheaded, Live!

Welcome to the show
To the Historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Dancing to the beat
To the break of day
Once we're done, we'll start again
Like it's the renaissance
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

Aragon: Remember us from your GCSEs?

Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Parr: Divorced

Aragon: My name's Katherine of Aragon
Was married twenty-four years, I'm a paragon
Of Royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican
So if you try to dump me
You won't try that again

Aragon, Seymour, Cleves, Howard, Parr: Beheaded

Boleyn: I'm that Boleyn Girl
And I'm up next, see
I broke England from the Church,
yeah, I'm that sexy
Why did I lose my head?
Well my sleeves may be green
But my lipstick's red!

Aragon, Boleyn, Cleves, Howard, Parr: Died

Seymour: Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved
Aragon, Boleyn, Cleves, Howard, Parr: Rude
Seymour: When my son was newly born
I died
But I'm not what I seem, or am I?
Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

Aragon, Boleyn, Seymour, Howard, Parr: Divorced

Cleves: Ich bin Anna of Cleves

Aragon, Boleyn, Seymour, Howard, Parr: Ja!

Cleves: When he saw my portrait, he was like

All: Ja!
Cleves: But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little-

Howard: Prick up your ears, I'm the Katheryn
Who lost her head
Aragon, Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Parr: Beheaded
Howard: For my promiscuity outside of wed
Lock up your daughters
Lock up your wives
K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

Aragon, Boleyn, Seymour, Cleves, Howard: Survived

Parr: Five down, I'm the final wife
I saw him to the end of his life
I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr!
I bet you wanna know how I got this far
I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far
Hey!

All: Do you wanna know how we got this far?
Then welcome to the show
To the Historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Get your hands up, get this party buzzing
You want a Queen bee?
Well there's half a dozen
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives.

One
Two
Three
Four
Five
SIX!

Cleves: How are we doing tonight, Wattpad? We are glad to be here.
Seymour: We are
All: SIX
Seymour: And welcome to our Divorced, Beheaded Live tour!
Parr: You obviously know us-
Aragon: Don't take any portraits, please. (looks to the crowd) Hey, you! I see you with your phone out! Put it away, Queen's orders.
Parr: Alright, Aragon, I think that's enough of that. We want to introduce you to our ladies in waiting!
Boleyn: We have Maggie on the guitar
Cleves: Bessie on the base
Seymour: Joan on the keys
Aragon: And Maria on the drums. Give it up for our ladies. How are you doing, Maria?
Maria: I feel honoured to work with you again, Your Majesty.
Boleyn: Good, good. But everyone came here to party with us!
Howard: I can't wait for the music to start and-
Parr: Hang on, darling. We have a score to settle. You know that there are
All: SIX
Parr: Of us. You all have your favourites
Seymour: And we heard all the excuses. We're not here to talk about that.
Cleves: We will answer your questions once and for all.
Boleyn: Hold up. Surely if this will be a fair competition, the audience should judge us on what we have in common. The only thing we have in common is that-
Seymour: Anne Boleyn, you are not repeating that language! So, here are the rules of the competition. The queen who leads the band is the one who put up with the worst from Henry VIII, our ex-husband. Are you ready to choose your leading lady?

Aragon: But there's only one person you must hear from tonight. Wattpad, I'm about to win this competition.