he was here (depressed deku story)

the jump.

dekus pov

i put on a jacket and sweatpants. i've never been this nervous to leave my room. I haven't left in over a month. but i feel if i don't go, recovery girl will tell my secret. i grab my phone and headphones. I quietly open my door and shut it. I start to head down the hallways praying nobody sees me. I walk down the stairs. great. its uraraka and ida.
"hey deku!!"
"midoriya! its been awhile!!"
I guess, I say and shake off the greetings. its selfish, but I can't let them see me like this.
i'm almost positive ida and uraraka have already spread the word that i've finally left my room.
I showed up outside recovery girls office. it almost seems nostalgic showing up here again. I knocked quietly three times on her door and walked in. Todoroki is in there.
shit.
"i was just leaving" todoroki spoke. "it's good to see you midoriya"
you too. I feel my face go red. Todoroki shut the door gently.
"I'm glad you came."
recovery girl throws clothes at me
"put these on" she said
i look at them. it's a tanktop and shorts.
i'd rather not..
"why"
i hesitate, because its cold.
"midoriya, you have an issue and I need to see how bad it is. I understand that all-" she cut herself off.
It hurts just to hear it.
"i've had many students come to be worried for your life."
todoroki...i say quietly.
"yes..."
i look up,
i-i cant, i speak barely above a whisper.
"I beg your pardon?" she says softly
i can't! i yell out
Then I run out of the door and straight to the roof. i start to scream
WHAT DID IT HAPPEN TO HIM! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!!
i stand on the ledge.
IM DONE! i cry harder and harder. i punch the ledge, why, why did he have to die.
Aizawa shows up.
"Are you really going to jump?"
yes....no... my eyes continue to drip the only liquids i have left in my body. i start to feel dizzy
i i- cant s-see i feel my body go limp and weak. i start to feel off the ledge i cant speak anything but a whisper
i don't wanna die...

word count: 383