Erin, Aaron, and Grace

Chapter 5: Erin 11/16/19

Aaron kept trying to insert himself into conversations with Erin, and she wasn't letting him. She could feel how frustrated he was getting. She could feel him unable to take his eyes off of her.

The girl he'd brought with him was quiet. Following Aaron around as if she knew she didn't belong there, and she didn't. She only spoke to people when she had to, not friendly at all.

When they weren't looking, Erin would size up the two of them. Grace was nothing special, average height, average build. Uninteresting clothes, and a couple tattoos. Completely ordinary, and not Aaron's type at all.

Before dinner they were all standing in a group, laughing. Aaron had walked up next to her, and said hi. She brushed him off. He had no right to be here at her parent's church with some fling.

Erin could've burned a hole in his back with her stare as they stood in line to get food. She was supposed to have just seen Noah tonight.

Aaron leaned over to Grace and whispered something unknown into her ear. Grace laughed.

His profile highlighted his strong jawline.

He had been like that for her once.

"Mikey keeps trying to hold my hand," she shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot in the fluorescent glow of the Walmart entrance. It was a chilly late summer night, and Erin didn't have warm enough clothes, but she didn't want to go into the store with the other guys, so she'd hid out there, with Aaron. The day had been hot, and baked her tan cheeks into a rosey pink. Her clothes felt dusty from the country fairgrounds.

"You don't have to, just tell him," Aaron said as if it were the most reasonable and simple thing in the world.

"He's going to get mad at me, or something."

"No, he won't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, he knows that," Aaron had told her with confidence.

Erin shivered, unable to put into words what Aaron didn't understand.

"Are you cold?" He'd asked her.

"Yeah, kinda."

"I have an extra hoodie in my car, do you want me to grab it for you?" Aaron asked.

"No, Mikey would be hurt if he saw me wearing your hoodie."

"Screw that, you're just cold. Let him be hurt. If you're cold put on something to make you not cold," Aaron replied, making a face.

"Do you think she's his girlfriend?" Erin was pulled from the memory by her younger sister's question.

"How would I know, Hannah?" Erin snapped.

"I thought you guys talked."

Erin shrugged, not wanting to have this conversation.

The yellow light in the fellowship hall felt almost overwhelming for a moment.

The college aged kids all decided to eat in the side room they'd been portioning out pie in.

Aaron sat on one end of the table, with Grace on one side, and Noah on the other.

They were having a debate about female superheroes. Grace had been quiet all night, but now her voice barely stopped for her to draw breath, Aaron's either. They almost seemed as if they were in their own little world, happily oblivious to everyone else's discomfort. Erin couldn't be the only one bothered by this, could she?

But then Noah jumped into the discussion and it became even more lively, sucking in other people sitting at the table.

It was slowly getting late, Erin had sat huddled up in Aaron's family's living room. They'd gotten back and relived moments from the italian festival, then slowly all fanned out and each retreated to their own company in exhaustion.

Erin was watching snapchat stories and responding to streaks.

Ping!

A notification from Aaron lit up her phone. He was only sitting a few feet from her.

She opened it.

'Are you going right to bed after this?'

'No,' She answered, biting her lip.

'Do you want to watch a movie or something?'

She looked up at him, he raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

'Maybe...' She typed.

'It can't be in the living room, my mom is trying to sleep and her door is right there.'

Erin looked up at the darkened room with the door slightly ajar, his mom had said good night about twenty minutes ago.

Ping!

'We could watch it in my room on my laptop,' Aaron said.

Erin blushed deep red, and sighed in relief that Aaron couldn't see it in the dark.

'I don't know... I don't want to get in trouble.'

'We wouldn't.'

'Mikey would be mad,' she felt crestfallen as she wrote it.

'Let him.'

How did having Aaron on her side make her feel so safe?

'I don't know,' she replied.

'If you decide you want to, just let me know.'

Aaron nodded at her, and went up to his room. His heavy confident gate was the only sound in the night.

Why did Aaron think he could bring her here? It wasn't his church, not as much as it was her's. Erin always thought he mainly came to see her.

She picked at her mashed potatoes, and half listened to the conversation she was sort of carrying on with Mikey.

Mikey, another boy it hadn't worked out with. Why couldn't Aaron be like Mikey? It had been awkward for a month and then he'd moved on. Pretended like it never happened, which was exactly what she wanted to do. Aaron always demanded answers. She'd told him too much, he knew too much about her past.

She couldn't sleep, so she tiptoed down the hall into his room. The light was still on.

She opened the door.

"Hey," He said, startled.

"Hey, I can't sleep. Can we still watch a movie?"

"Sure, I'll grab my laptop."

Erin pulled a horror movie off of his shelf. All of his things were organized almost perfectly. His book shelves that lined all of the walls, his spinning shelf with movies and shows organized by genre sitting in the middle of his room.

Erin climbed into bed with him, and handed him the DVD.

"I haven't seen this one, have you?" Erin asked.

"Not yet, actually. I got it for Christmas."

They leaned up against the wall shoulders touching as the laptop booted up. She folded her arms across her chest, her hands covered by the long sleeves of his hoodie that she had borrowed.

He was so... At ease with himself. He never tried to be something other than what he was. Erin envied that. It was almost a constant battle for her to feel okay, and he had somehow seemed to master it.

They watched movies until Erin fell asleep, huddled under the blankets. She woke up when Aaron got up to turn the light off and settled back into bed. She felt his heart beat fast. They stayed like that a moment, she let the comfort of his warm body wash over her. She relaxed into him, enjoying the feeling of intimate physical contact she hadn't had in so long without panic swelling in her lungs. He cautiously put his arm around her, and she let him, it was nice. He wasn't scary. He didn't make her head go cloudy until she couldn't breathe. He just was. She pushed her butt against his crotch. He barely moved, barely let out a breath as if he was afraid she would shy away from his touch.

A few minutes passed, Aaron slowly, very slowly, relaxed. Erin felt a soft kiss on her cheek. She laid there, not knowing how to respond.