BOOK ONE | alec lightwood imagines

7. pretend it's okay

STORY CREATED BY blackthornslightwood

You looked over the city that you used to bring you so much happiness, you wonder why did it all have to change. The slight in front of you now made you sick to your stomach which was ironic considering the circumstances. The pain that you felt didn't feel like anything anymore, it was just another thing you had to forget in order to get you through the day. Remembering everything over the last few weeks brought tears to your eyes. The day that started it all had to be the best one.

"You okay?" Alec asked as he saw you looking out the window. Worry was wrote all across his face where nervousness was on yours.

"I don't know honestly" You told him as he came up and wrapped his arms around your waist. He bended down to laid his head on your shoulder wanting you to go on.

"You love me right?"

"Why would you asked me that? I obviously love you. Wouldn't be here if I didn't, love" A small smile came across your face but as quickly as it came it disappeared. You knew that it could change in a moment.

"No matter what?'

"Yes no matter what" You stayed stared out the window looking for the courage to tell Alec the news and when you did, you had yourself brace for the worst.

"You know I've been sick lately?" Alec just nodded his head "Well I know why" Alec look into your eyes from the window. "Umm.. I'm pregnant"

"You're what?" Alec yelled as he jumped back clearly not expecting that kind of news from you. Tears started to form in your eyes you knew he wouldn't want to be with you or have his kid. But the minute Alec saw the first tear fall down your cheek he rushed over taking you into his arms.

"Don't cry babe, I'm happy I just didn't' think that's what you were going to say. Wow I'm going to be a dad"

"Yes you are"

You smile as you thought of that moment, you thought Alec not wanting the kid was going to be the biggest pain you felt, oh boy how you were wrong. You didn't know it then but the worst was yet to come. As the cold New York breeze hit you, you looked at all of the lights remembering the day the light was took from you.

"It's the last mission Alec, don't worry we're going to be fine" Alec looked down at you not quite sure if he believed you but he knew that after this there wasn't anymore mission until the baby was born. It might have been early to give up mission but Alec connived his parents that it was best. They didn't want to disappoint Alec as he would be soon taking over so they allowed it.

"Just be safe please?"

"We will Alec" You gave him a kiss on the cheek before you ran off with Isabelle to go on your mission. You didn't remember much of that night but you could remember being with Isabelle and feeling pain shoot through your veins as something bite into your shoulder. Worse of all you remember waking up to a puffy face Alec and with one small look you knew your baby was gone. Alec grabbed your hand and laced it with his as he placed them upon your stomach. Tears kept falling from both of your eyes and it felt like it wasn't going to stop. Your child. Yours and Alec's child was gone before it could be brought into this world.

The noise on side of you snapped you out of your thoughts. There was Alec. He took a sit right next to you and held your hand. You both needed this. The last few weeks had been hell for you two. Every time you guys try to talk it always ended in a fight. You both were angry but not at each other. At the world, at or whoever decided that it was okay to take your baby away. You guys were falling apart because of this and you guys were afraid to admit it.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT" You yelled as you threw a plate just missing Alec head.

"I didn't say it was babe. I didn't say anything" Alec said as looked at you wide eyes.

"BUT YOU'RE THINKING IT" You shouted with tears flowing down your cheeks.

"I am not, it's not your fault babe"

"LAIR" You yelled once again. Emotions were hitting you hard and you thought everyone blamed you. You randomly yelled at Alec for no reason which made you feel even worse so you left the room trying to find a way to feel better.

As you two sat there together everything that had been going on started to fade. The pain was still there but it wasn't as strong as it was. You knew that some was always going to be there but if Alec was by your side you knew you could get through it. So as you both looked out into the city with the lights starting to turn off you knew that you guys could find yours again because in order for it to shine you both need to find darkness along the way.