Joan the Made (Throwbacks Series, Book 1)

Chapter 20

Crew considers our first rehearsal a success, even though we didn't gather any intel. He's pleased that we've both been officially cast by the director for the promo vid, assuring us that there is a lot of downtime during rehearsals and filming when we'll have chances to poke around.

I have bigger worries. Tonight is Parents' Night, and my mom, my dad, and Addie have all sent me messages assuring me that they'll be here. For different reasons, I'm nervous about seeing them. Keeping track of all my secrets is exhausting.

But as much as I'm dreading it, Sparkle is even more anxious. She chooses and then discards outfit after outfit.

"Want to borrow something of mine?" I ask her when the entire contents of her closet are on her bed.

"What do you want in return?" she asks, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Her words sting. Admittedly, she hasn't been her usual sarcastic self in a while, coming home pale and silent after curfew most nights.

"You need to relax, diva," I tease, trying to lighten her mood. "This is a friend helping a friend, like you helped me."

I toss her a red dress that will undoubtedly look better on her than it ever could on me.

"Thanks," she says, without meeting my eyes. "I want my mom to think I'm successful here, even though I have a long way to go."

"You're being too hard on yourself," I say as she shrugs off her shirt and steps into my dress.

"Easy for you to say. You've already landed a part in a major Strand promo. Your future is secure," she says.

"Let me zip you up," I offer after an awkward silence. I wish I could tell her about the rebellion, but Crew would have my head.

"Wait—" Sparkle starts to say, but it's too late.

My hand freezes as I reach for the zipper. Her back is covered in welts that mirror the ones on my back from my whipping, except that she has many, many more.

"Who did this? The headmaster? I'll kill him."

Sparkle yanks the dress from my grip and awkwardly zips herself up. "They're old scars, from before you ever knew me. It's normal—lots of Throwbacks have them."

"You're making that up," I say, and I read the truth of my words in her downcast eyes. I soften my tone and step closer. "Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help."

Sparkle shakes her head and turns to the mirror, applying a final coat of mascara. "Don't make this a bigger deal than it is."

I keep silent after that because I have secrets of my own that I'll never share with Sparkle. Still, a sliver of ice lodges itself in my heart at the thought of the pain she's endured.

We leave the dorm and go to the school's cafeteria, which is located in a squat building a couple of blocks away. Most of the students use the food and drink dispensers in the dorms and theater, so I've only been here a few times.

Someone has decked the cafeteria out with flashy displays projected on the walls and ceiling, but all of the lights in the world can't blot out the nauseating odors of cleaning fluid and old food that cling to the furniture.

Sparkle immediately leaves my side when we step inside. Lots of parents have arrived already. Most are Throwbacks, but a group of parents who aren't wearing the telltale lavalieres are clustered around one table, listening to my parents talk animatedly.

My parents look older than their years due to all the time they spent on Amp, but they are as charismatic as ever. Even though a part of me is still furious that they kept my Throwback status from me, a smile tugs on the corners of my mouth at the sight of them.