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"Into the sea
You and me
All these years and no one heard
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing"
-The Lovecats by the Cure

//tw: suicide attempt//
once again, i am NOT trying to romanticize suicide, etc. i overthink most of the time when i publish a chapter involving a trigger warning because i end up thinking that after reading this chapter, people think that i'm romanticizing the triggering themes, etc, and i don't want people to think that.

*Hailey starts deteriorating again, and eventually starts turning to alcohol to cope. Little does she know, though, is that Robert is planning to bring Jimmy back soon, after learning he's back to normal and is ready to go home. Hailey, however, as a result of not being notified, only thinks there will be more days without Jimmy, and she starts feeling even worse, and starts letting her sadness get to her.*

two pov's


Robert's POV

The days seemed to go by fast, and now Jimmy had been gone for nearly a week now. Robert wasn't sure about how Hailey was doing, but worried that taking her to the bar only briefly helped. Since then, Hailey seemed solemn again, and wasn't around as much as she used to be.

Soon later, though, Robert finally got some good news once the phone rang. Jimmy had improved, and was in better condition. He was ready to head back home. Robert remembered his heart leaping when he had heard. He decided to keep the fact Jimmy was coming home soon a secret, and figured tomorrow he would surprise Hailey, but he didn't think once about how not being told could possibly affect Hailey.

Robert decided to check up on Hailey again, but once he entered her room, he could tell something was definitely off. He spotted a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's on her nightstand, and Hailey was just sitting on her bed.

Oh God.

"Hailey, have you been drinking?"

Hailey looked up at Robert and nodded nonchalantly. "It's the only thing that's been helping me."

"When I took you to the bar, I was worried about you using alcohol as a coping method." Robert said. "Well, I guess I was right to be worried."

Hailey sighed. "Robert, I'm sorry, but...it's the only thing that actually keeps me happy."

"Just like how heroin is the only thing that keeps Jimmy functioning." Robert said. "Guarantee he's going to be back to doing it once he's out of the hospital."

"I'm just really upset, and it's too hard to cope. I'll be back to my normal self once I see him again. We're the only people keeping each other on our feet."

Robert's mind went back to the time Jimmy and Hailey had to go their separate ways because of Charlotte, and Jimmy hadn't taken it too well. He remembered Jimmy's bitterness when he finally answered Robert's phone call.

"Yeah, I understand." Robert said, sitting next to Hailey. "But, if you keep this up, you're going to make yourself sick and then you're going to die."

To Robert's dismay, Hailey didn't seem too worried about the possibility of death if she continued her alcohol consumption. Did she want to die?

"I don't care." Hailey said, taking the bottle of Jack and taking another sip of it. "Perhaps death will make things better for me. If I die, all of my pain will be gone, and I won't have to feel pain anymore."

"You're going to leave Jimmy behind, though. Remember all of the times you did? He never took it well. He's not himself without you."

Hailey seemed to not be paying attention to a single word Robert said, and he started feeling hopeless. It was as if there was nothing that could be done, no matter how hard Robert tried. He felt like all of his efforts were worthless. Robert knew that if Hailey ended up killing herself, Jimmy wouldn't be able to carry on. Robert didn't know how to help Hailey. The only thing he felt he was good at when it came to helping people was either giving poor advice that didn't help or just keeping them company.

Robert sighed and got up from the bed, heading out of Hailey's room. She didn't seem to care. Robert figured the only thing he could do was just make sure Hailey didn't do anything, but he didn't know if he could even do just that.

Maybe the only way I can help her is by bringing Jimmy home today instead.


Hailey's POV

Hailey stayed in her room for a while longer until coming out, when no one was around. She went to get another bottle of Jack Daniel's in the kitchen, but as she did so, she noticed more bottles of different alcoholic beverages in the cabinet. She couldn't help but feel tempted to just make all of the pain go away herself.

All it will take is just alcohol. You won't feel anything.

Hailey took a deep breath and tried to fight the urge. She felt tears forming in her eyes, and felt like she was at her breaking point.

Just do it, Hailey. You'll be free.

Rowan then entered Hailey's mind, and then her family, and then Jimmy. These were all of the people she would leave behind. Hailey paused for a few moments, questioning herself. Did she really want to do this? Did she really want to leave her best friend, her parents, and the love of her life all behind?

Then, the voice in Hailey's head returned, encouraging her to make the move. She felt like there was no way out. She couldn't bear to last more days without Jimmy. She felt like she just couldn't do it.

Drawing in another shaky breath, Hailey started to take a couple more alcoholic beverages out of the cabinet, and uncapped them, and started drinking out of the Jack Daniel's bottle first. Then, she moved to the beer bottle. Hailey reached for the next bottle, a bottle of vodka, and started to feel...weak. Just as her hand wrapped around the bottle, she felt weaker, and felt everything starting to...shut down.

Then, Hailey's vision blackened as she fell to the kitchen floor.

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