drowning

xviii

" I try to forget, but the reminders are everywhere "

-

SAM

*trigger warning*

It had been two weeks since I talked to Hal. Or to Carly. Or even Junior. I was avoiding them at all costs, ever since Carly's outburst. Realistically it was only her I was avoiding, but I couldn't just ignore one and not the other two. I couldn't even remember the last time I went more than a few days not talking to Hal, much a few weeks. Nonetheless, I had nothing to say to any of them at this point in time.

Admittedly, once I was sobered up, the truth of Carly's tantrum hit me like a truck. Not about my father, but about June. It was true, I like June. I thought about holding her hand, driving around town, kissing her, making her feel better on all her dark days. But, that was in the past. She decided she'd had enough of me, so I decided the same. Her confusing, back-and-forth games weren't going to weigh me down any longer. In my eyes, June was back to just being the school's sex doll, and that's how it was always going to be. And by the end of the year, I'd never have to think about or see her ever again, once I left for college. I convinced myself it was perfect.

That day, at the Gardens, I found myself at the front desk, begrudgingly. Sitting next to June for the next two hours was not something I exactly had at the top of my list. Nonetheless, we were stuck there, whether we liked it or not.

While I absent mindlessly scrolled through my phone, June was tapping away at the desk's computer. After so long, the key clicking had begun to drive me mad, but I kept my mouth shut. Even if I said something, I doubted she'd stop. She was more than likely doing it on purpose, in order to annoy me.

I watched June, typing away. Her hands flew over the letters, one after another, as if whatever she was doing was urgent. I couldn't help but notice that every thirty seconds or so, she'd stop, squeeze her hands into fists, take a deep breathe, and then keep going. I also took notice to how her hair was once again pulled out of her face, giving me a clearer view of her profile. Her eyes were heavy, with dark circles underneath them. Actually, it only took me a few minutes to realize that whenever she stopped typing to do her weird hand thing, her eyes would flutter shut, as if she was... falling asleep?

"What're you doing?"

June flinched, as if I woke her up, and looked over at me, with what looked like slight fear in her eyes. It was different then how she looked at me before, when we were enemies, before the Gardens, before everything. Back then, she would glare and scowl. Now, it seemed like anytime she had to look me, horror took over.

Her eyes darted around, not settling in one place. I wasn't sure if this was her poor attempt at eye contact, but whatever it was, I didn't care enough to wait for an answer. Instead, I stood up, and stalked off toward the restroom, needing a break from the sound of computer typing.

What's wrong with her? She looks horrible.

I stared in the mirror, wishing I was someone else. Someone else would understand how to deal with this situation, but not me. Not that I cared. She wasn't worth saving, not anymore.

But you know she needs you.

I splashed some water over my face to get rid of any intrusive thoughts. I didn't need those right now. I needed June out of my head, for good.

I stalked off into a changing stall, so I could hide away a bit longer without anyone coming to find me. Not that they would- I was the only male worker here, save for some janitors that came around in the morning, but they were long gone by now. The staff bathroom was cool in that, other than the obvious bathroom part, it also had a few dressing rooms covered by curtains, and a shower. It made for easy hiding spots, in times like this.