Room To Breath

chapter seven

Kellin's pov

I'm naked..

My ass hurts..

And a naked guy is holding me.

I have no clue on what the fuck happened but I'm scared to move. When I do it will wake this stranger up. Did I want sex? That hasn't been a thing I do lately.

Very slowly I get out of his grip and put on my clothes and find my notebook. My dog is here.. so I didn't put up a fight or anything. My dog would have attacked him. I feel empty and used. Did this person know I'd forget?

I look in my notebook for who he is.

Oli: tattooed guy (rose on throat) that I've talked to a few times. I don't think he knows about my memory lost. He helped me out of a tree and a pond. We also layed together. His roommate is cool and named Ronnie (forehead tattoo)

So why did we have sex if I've only met him a few times? Quietly I leave the room and add to my note.

We had sex and I don't remember why.. I left before he woke up. Best if I avoid him..

Just so I know in the future..

I walk slowly so I dont limp and my dog whines. She wants me to stop and let her cheer me up. She can tell I'm upset. It feels wrong to sleep with people because I don't know if they took advantage of me or not.

As I walk I look through my notes and read what I've been doing this week and to see if I'm suppose to be doing something. Nothing important..

Slowly I go to my room and lay on my bed. My roommate left the first week of college so I dont have a roommate. I think that's for the best. My dog- I forgot her name.. She starts licking my hand and trying to cheer me up.

She's like a superhero dog. She can sense when I'm having an anxiety attack or when I'm sad. I'm not having anxiety issues right now, I'm just sad. I don't know why I had sex with him. He's hot, yes, but I haven't have sex in a few years.

I doubt I'd just randomly jump in bed with him..

I curl up in my bed and my dog curls up next to me. Thinking about the past can be like asking someone to describe a color without using colors or objects. Other times I can sometimes think of it. Theres something blocking it.

Right now I cant even remember my family. I know I have one but I cant think of what they look like or who they are. But I remember that I do remember them sometimes. Sometimes I remember random days and events but it always goes away.

Sometimes I remember why I have memory problems. Not right now. Right now everything is gone from my brain. I still remember today- most of today. I remember waking up and eating. What did I eat? I dont know but I did eat. Then I listened to music and played with cope- Cope! That's her name!

I blink.

What was I thinking about? I close my eyes tightly and think try to remember what I was thinking about. Cope.. my dog.. why was I talking about her?

I shift in my spot and feel the unpleasant feeling in my ass. Oli.. we had sex. Or he raped me.. I don't know. He seems nice but I have trust issues and I'm not convinced I wanted it.

Vic's pov

Do I even like Ronnie?

Nah but I'm lonely.. He likes me and I like how he looks. Don't get me wrong, we aren't just going to fuck and forget. We've been talking about it and a week ago we gave ourselves a lable.

Friends with benefits.

Yeah that seems like a fuckboy thing to do but it's not. I just cant seem to find 'the one' so while I wait I'm going to have a little fun.

When I find someone worthy of dating I'll drop Ronnie and then do what's natural. Ronnie likes someone right now but they are dating someone so he's just waiting.

Oliver's pov

When I wake up I feel like I'm going to throw up. That exactly what I do. All over the floor beside my bed sits my vomit.

I wipe me mouth and look around the dark empty room. My high is gone and now so is all my food. I feel like I got hit by a car. When I get up my vision goes dark and bright at the same time making me grab onto my dresser.

For a few minutes I stand still trying to wait out the dizziness. I fucked kellin. He's not in here... I dont even remember it all. I remember that he was really shy but I don't remember him leaving.

I straighten up and start walking but the movements make everything buzz. Anxiety. I'm having anxiety. I bite my nails and my eyes look around the room. I wonder if ronnie has any drugs?

I need something to calm me down so I can clean up my mess. I snoop through his stuff and find a blue pill.

Xanax..

He wont miss one of these...

Hhhhhhh

Oliver's not okay

Vfhikbdstynnooknff

Thoughts?