For the past couple of weeks the days had felt longer than ever. Work was piling up, basically making you feel as though you lived there. You were on a constant stream of waking up, staring at a screen for hours on end, and going home.
Life wasn't always like this.
The life you lived before this was completely different, and to say you miss it would be an understatement.
It was a life full of happiness, full of friends, full of love. No two days were the same and you remember just feeling joyful every minute.
But that life was in the past. The life with Matty by your side, with his band mates as your best friends, it was all gone. Ruined by you and your homesickness which had caused a strain on your relationship with them all. You had thought being home was what you wanted, until you realised that they were indeed your home, but by the time you realised it was too late.
You and the boys had been friends since the first year of secondary school, but you had always been closer to Matty. The complexity of his mind and his inability to be quiet when he disagreed with something was what drew you to him, although you never acted upon your feelings at that age in fear they wouldn't be reciprocated.
But adulthood arrived and you reached a level of maturity that meant you could express your feelings. As a relatively shy girl you were proud at how you confessed your feelings to Matty on a summer night and luckily received the response you were hoping for.
They were in the midst of writing an album and therefore were home quite a lot. Your days were filled with laughter, spending each one with Ross, George and Adam as well as your boyfriend, and thanked your lucky stars for the life you were living.
Each night came wrapped in Matty's arms, trailing the outlines of his tattoos with your fingers, his hands drawing shapes on your back. You spoke about everything with that boy, from your relationship with your family to how you envisioned your future with him.
Tour came soon enough and the excitement followed. The idea of being with the guys whilst travelling seemed like your dreams had been put out on a plate for you, but it felt different when you had to live it.
Travelling around the world meant non stop moving, non stop sleeping in tiny beds, no privacy and no time for yourself. Your days were filled with watching the boys living their dreams, leaving you to feel like a spare part. The hatred for planes didn't help, and prevented you from flying to and from home to see them whenever suited you.
Before tour you were a relatively chilled person, not a worrier, pretty calm. But tour made you worry-ridden, stressed and bored out of your mind and the fear of annoting the boys with your complaints ate you up at night.
Speaking to Matty about it wouldn't help, you convinced yourself, he would only ask you to stay and listen to what you had to say, making you feel worse about putting a dampen on his dreams.
So you spoke to George.
He was up late one night and you were too, everyone else was asleep. You weren't tired as you had been sleeping all day, and he had come back from meeting a girl.
You had vented your feelings and he had listened well, comforting you as you cried after vocalising your internal thoughts for the first time.
'Do what makes you happy, Y/N.'
That's all you needed to realise what you wanted, you wanted to go home.
So you left.
Matty was sleeping, like all the other boys. You had waited until George dozed off to stop him changing your mind. It felt cynical leaving a note but you couldn't face Matty's objections, and that was the last time you had seen him.
The phone calls from when he realised you were gone were the most heartbreaking thing you had been through, having to explain to him that tour life wasn't for you, you needed a break.
'I need space.' You had said, which he took literally.
That phone call was the last you had heard from him in nearly a year. The 1975 had only grown; you had friends who were die-hard fans that never knew of what you had been through. It was hard to forget about them because they were everywhere.
Leaving work, you put in your earphones to avoid speaking to any of your co-workers and put on BBC 1.
'The 1975 with their new track, Me & You Together Song.'
It began playing before you could turn it off, but you were thankful you hadn't. The song was filled with references from your relationship. Shocked, you stopped in your tracks, closed your eyes, and soaked up the words Matty was singing into your ear.
Your eyes welled up as he sang about aspects from your friendship before anything romantic came, followed by the development from platonic to romantic.
'I've been in love with her for ages.'
Were you fooling yourself? Was this song about you? It sure seemed like it. But what if it wasn't?
You had to find out.
You dialled Matty's number after what felt like forever and shook as it rang. Your car was freezing and you were getting odd looks from people that clearly wanted your space.
The dialling stopped, but no voicemail played.
'Hello?' You whispered.
'Y/N?'
'Hi, Matty.'
'Uh, hi. Are you okay?'
'Yeah I'm good thanks. I just heard your new song.' You stayed.
'Ah, I was hoping you would. What do you think?' He asked.
'I mean, it's amazing - everything you do is amazing - but the lyrics?'
'I knew you wouldn't listen if I just told you how I felt, how I feel. So I thought I'd sing them. What a shame it would be if you hadn't of heard them.'
'So it was for me?' You asked, confused.
'Everything I do is for you.'
Your heart began to beat at an unbelievable rate as your best and worst dreams came true.
'Y/N?'
'Hi, yeah, sorry. It's just a shock to hear. I thought you hated me.'
'Hated you? I thought you said you heard the song? I'm not any less in love with you as I was the last time I saw you. I just knew that you would contact me when you were ready. I waited a year for this call.'
'I'm sorry things happened the way they did, Matty. I just got confused and homesick and upset. I dealt with it badly.'
'I know, Y/N. But it's okay now. I'm home, we could meet if you want?'
The boy still managed to make you nervous after knowing you for most of your life. How?
'I'd like that.' You whispered.
'Perfect, let me know when you're free. You could listen to some of our new songs as you liked this one so much.'
His quick humour and ability to make you laugh reminded you of everything you loved about him, and you suddenly felt so comfortable once again.
'I'm free now.' You suggested.
'See you in a bit then.'
He hung up the phone as you sat in your car, evaluating the whole situation and what had just happened. Matty, your Matty, may be back in your life. For good.
After a deep breath you prepared to drive to his house, a route you knew oh so well.
'He's been in love with me for ages.' You whispered to yourself as you set off.
'For ages.'
