Maid For You 2

Chapter 51

Prince Coleman didn't say anything for six agonizing seconds. His entire body tensed up, his fists clenched, his lips pursed.

Until he finally said it.

"Of course I like you!" He blurted out, all the tension in his body releasing as he spoke those words.

I knew that he liked me. It was obvious. I wasn't an idiot. And yet, hearing him say it, hearing him admit it—it knocked the wind out of me.

"I like you so much that I don't know what to do with myself!" he exclaimed. He took the remaining steps towards me, closing the distance until we were only a couple of feet apart. "You plague my mind, Cassandra Carmichael. You haunt my soul. Each night I dream of you and each day I daydream of you. You're my last thought each night and my first thought each morning. You make my blood boil like no one else, but you also make my heart more than anyone else can. I always wonder what you're thinking, what you're doing, what you would like. And I don't know what to do because it is different than with all those other women. They pale in comparison—it's only you."

He ran his hand through his hair. "And—and last night on a total whim I cut my hair because I thought you'd like it, because I wanted to see your reaction. I mean, do you realize how insane that is? And this morning, when I saw what I'd done, when I realized what I'd done, I just—I just panicked. I wouldn't sit by you or talk to you because I couldn't be near you. You make me do things I normally wouldn't. You make me act like I normally wouldn't. And I just—I just can't."

"Coleman," I gasped. "I like you so much. Don't you see? I—I tried really hard not to. I really did. I was so determined to hate you, because it was easier. It was easier than liking you. But I can't help myself. I can't help it. I like you so much. I don't want to pretend that I don't, anymore. You make me laugh and you make me angry and you make me feel, Coleman. I want to be with you, don't you see? I want to—"

"Cassandra," he stopped me, taking another step forward, cupping my face with his hands. "Cassandra Carmichael. You've enraptured me."

I took in a breath to speak, but he interrupted my attempts.

"But I can't give you what you want," he said.

I felt tears beginning to prick my eyes again. "What?" I whispered. "But why not? Is it...is it because I'm a servant?"

"No," he said. "It's not that. I just—I just can't be that person for you. I can't commit to you. I have to be free, don't you see? And I can't..." he moved his hands from my face and started to run them through my hair. "I can't date you. I certainly can't ever marry you." 

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

I took a step back, withdrawing myself from his warm hands. "Can't?" I asked. "Or won't?"

He didn't respond.

"Well?" I asked, demanding an answer. "Can't? Or won't?"

He swallowed hard. "I won't. I won't do it."

My lip began to quiver. "You—you won't even try?"

His arms hung at his sides limply. "I just—I just can't."

"Won't," I corrected him, my vision blurring. "You won't."

He didn't say anything.

"I can't do that, you know?" I finally said, my voice breaking. "Or, I guess I should say that I won't. I won't wait around for you to be nice to me sometimes. I have to live my life, Coleman. I want to get married and have a family one day. And I can't—won't—just wait around for you forever. It's not fair. It's not."

A few beats of silence. "I know."

"So—so you don't get to be mad at me for going to the Winter Ball. You don't get to be upset if I date someone else or move on, okay? You don't get that privilege anymore!" At this point I was fully crying, and I buried my face into my hands. "You just—you can't—"

And then I felt his arms wrap around me. Coleman was drawing me into one of his powerful hugs. Despite everything, despite how sad he had made me feel, I withdrew my hands from my face and wrapped my arms around him and cried into his jacket.

I don't know how long we stood there, holding onto each other wordlessly. It was five, maybe ten minutes?

I stopped crying at some point, but I still held onto him for a minute or so after I calmed down somewhat. I took a deep breath, and whispered loud enough so he could hear, "Goodbye, Prince Coleman."