GET OUT OF MY HEAD | ✔️

Part One ~ Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Do you ever just feel so lost, you hope someday you'll find your way out? But you know how impossible it is to come out of something that you've been in for so long, so you just eventually stop trying. Yeah, me too. Here I am, sitting alone in my room, overthinking my life again. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of being in my skin. I'm just so tired of it. All of my thoughts, including this one, have been overthought to it's fullest. I'll never stop thinking and I know I'll never be okay with this. I just want a vacation, away. Away from myself, my brain, my thoughts, everything. I just need to get away. A lot is going on in my head and I don't know how to handle this pain.

Two months ago David and I lost the most important thing to us, our precious babygirl, and with that I lost the love of my life as well. I never knew how easy it was for the most important people in my life to be gone, just like that, with a snap of the finger. I don't want to say he doesn't care about me because I know he does, it's just that sometimes, if you love someone you have to let them go, but I don't think he understands how much I need him, especially at a time like this. I know he needs me too, but he's in New York and I'm here in California. Me seeing him would be next to impossible right now. We are both going through a lot so i'll just do my best to forget, although i'll never forget the sudden pain of losing our precious babygirl.

Anyways, someone give me the strength to move on from this hurt, I know it'll take time to feel normal again. Although I can't remember a time when I was normal. I just want to feel okay, even close to okay, maybe on the verge of okay, just not this, not this constant hurt. I just need someone. David, I need you.

xoxo, Winona