It Was Meant To Be A Secret

Chapter 2 ~ Broken Trust

"When were you going to tell me I was going to be a father? Were you ever going to tell me?" It was Damian who said that. He had a new expression on that I had never seen before. His lips, that only ever formed a grimace, smirk or a small smile for me, were set into a teetering frown like it couldn't decide to be distraught or angry. His eyes contained a venerability, a glimmer of broken trust. He had never looked at me like that. Not even when I attacked him while I was still at the League of Assassin's. You would have thought a tiny tear, a little drop of water would be welling up in his eye but that would never happen. Damian has been taught from a young age that crying shows weakness and he should have none to show. "Well were you?!" I didn't know what to tell him. I have no idea what to tell him. I could use the excuse that it's still early in the pregnancy and I didn't want to tell him but he'd see right through my lie and I'd lose his trust even more.
"No." I managed to sniffle out. Despite my constricted throat I managed to sound stern and sure. Damian drew back like I had hit him.
"No?" He murmured as if he couldn't believe my answer.
"No, I wasn't going to."
"Why?" I could tell Damian was struggling with what I was telling him and even though I knew he wouldn't I had to get him to understand.
"I can't tell you. They won't let me."
"Who won't let you?"
"I can't-"
"Tell me. It seems like you can't tell me anything!" Damian was slowly losing it. I had never seen him burst or be actually upset unless it was a facade he was putting up but I guess that was about to change.
"Damian. Let's calm down." The deep demanding voice startled me as I had completely forgotten that Bruce was at the end of the bed overlooking our argument. I was to busy making sure I didn't break under my guilt at the look of anguish on Damian's face. It wasn't obvious under the storm  and tsunami of anger but there were strong currents of pain. You had to know him to see it but it was there.
The room was quiet. A tense awkward silence like the one before an explosion is set off. Luckily we were saved from detonation by Tim with a message from Alfred to 'pause our spat for dinner'. I began to sit up another dizzy wave ripping through my head and down my spine making me feel unstable but I pushed through not wanting to ask for help. Damian wouldn't want to help me. I knew he would help if I asked but he needed space and lugging me down the stairs would not be giving him space.
I slowly rose to my feet making sure that my speed wasn't suspicious. I managed two steps but then my knees buckled. I let out a gasp. Tim yelled my name causing Bruce to snap his neck round to look what was happening. His training putting him into fight or flight mode ready to defend but it was Damian who moved quickest. Arms wrapped around my waist stopping me from collapsing to the mahogany floorboards.
"Thea. Are you okay?" Damian whispered although it sounded normal in a completely still room next to my ear. I could feel the eyes of the other to males on me waiting anxiously for my answer but I looked down in disgrace at the spot where I should be laying.
"Sorry." I replied before prying myself out of his arms and trying to get out the room before gravity can decide to hate me again. Turns out it didn't take long for it to decide as in less time then before I faltered in my steps and Damian's arm was in a vice grip around my waist.
"Stop walking away you obviously can't do it so why are you? I'd like an actual answer this time." That last statement stung hitting me right in the chest but I'd had the same training as Damian. I wasn't to cry not even the small trickle of one was to be shown. I didn't deserve to cry. I hadn't had someone keep a secret about one of the most life changing things that could happen to someone. If Damian doesn't cry, neither do I.
"I don't want to inconvenience you," was my meek reply. I knew it was weak and would probably infuriate him but it was partially true. It just wasn't one of the main reasons.
"Thea, just because we're having a disagreement doesn't mean you keep quiet and let yourself pass out on the floor. I said I would always look after you. No matter what. Ever since we were young. I believe in that promise so much I wrote it into my vows. I doesn't matter we're upset with each other at the moment. I'll always help you. You are never an inconvenience." How could he tell that I had done it for so many more reasons than my response? How does he look through me like that? It doesn't matter right now. He said 'at the moment'. He feels like he can get over this. That we can get over this. He is still sticking to our promise even after all this time. With all the things I've done, how on Earth do I deserve him?