My Countryhuman oneshot book (sfw and nsfw)

Belarus x potato (SMUT)

It's weird and I feel like I rushed it but there it is.
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As long as she could remember, Belarus always had an obsession with potatoes. When she was little, and when her father let her and her siblings eat, potatoes were her favorite dish. When she grew older and got to live in her own territory, she was often visiting potato farms. She even got some in her garden years later.

On the first sight it didn't seem that creepy of an obsession, it only looked like she truly enjoyed these vegetables but on the inside, it was way weirder. She was dreaming about potatoes most nights and she even caught herself fantasizing about them unconsciously. It was strange, yet she didn't care. That was her dirty little secret.

Today, her brother Russia came to visit her. He was slowly becoming less scary and cold since he had his son, and she was pretty much thankful for that. Russany was with his other father, so Russia decided it would be very nice of him if he came to say hi to his favorite sister. He even decided to prepare food for her !

As he was in her kitchen, starting the cooking, Belarus stayed in her office. She sadly had some paperworks to finish before she could join him.

After a couple of minutes, she finally completed them, releasing a happy yawn as she was proud of herself. She stood up from her chair and left the quiet room.

She sneaked discreetly into her kitchen, wanting to do the famous "who's this ?" to her brother, like when they were innocent kids who hadn't any idea of their father being a huge bastard. But that's when she saw it. An alone potato, setting on her table. She couldn't stop staring at it, it was so gorgeous.

It was a classic potato, but not random in her eyes. Its brownish color was so perfect, its form not really even but beautiful none of the less and its texture looked so soft and pure.

It made Belarus hungry, but not like she usually was for food. Russia appeared to be unaware of her presence, neither the potato's. The Belarussian thought it was the best moment. She quickly grabbed the potato and left as silently as she came.

She ran to her room and closed the door, not slamming it as she didn't want to be discovered by her sibling. Now, she was alone, the lifeless vegetable in her hands.

"Were you waiting for me there~ ?" she asked it, assuming it could understand English.

Obviously, the potato didn't reply.

"Shy, are you~ ?" she continued, totally lost in her own delirium.

Again, the vegetable didn't do anything. She giggled, not waiting for any kind of response anymore and laid on her bed, still holding the soulless being in her hands.

"We're going to have fun~" Belarus added, getting the potato close to her face and kissed it softly.

It didn't react, which made Belarus think it was okay with their activity. It haven't kissed back though, she wondered why.

Then, as the Slavic girl left the kiss, the potato fell, right between her breasts. The country blushed, not expecting her "partner" to be this impatient.

"Oh~ You're already excited, aren't you~ ?" she purred as she picked the potato up while she was sitting back on her bed.

She then settled it aside her, proceeding to take off her scarf and grey sweater in a teasing manner. She was wearing nothing underneath.

"Do you like what you see~ ?"

She was greeted with silence but interpreted it as a "yes".

"What a horny potato you are~"

And then Belarus made out with it again passionately, getting herself excited with the lifeless object.

"I swear I'm going to make this worth your stay, каханне~" she let out as she broke the kiss again, working on taking her pants off.

This was going to be fun, and awfully weird but she wasn't caring about that. She even forgot she wasn't home alone, and her door wasn't locked or anything. Her mind only was focused on the potato.

With some quick minutes, every pieces of clothing she already had on herself were gone, which made her shiver a little as air was touching her skin. She was still hot though.

"Look how wet you made me, цукерка~" she purred with a low voice, touching herself in an attempt to excite the vegetable, which, of course, wasn't working. However it did, in her head. Logic had no place left here.

Then, suddenly, the potato was grabbed again. And without any time to mentally get ready for what was going to happen, it found itself back on the mattress, under the horny Belarussian girl. She was so impatient right now, its sight looked so arousing and hot under her, almost begging to be fucked at this point.

With a chuckle, Belarus sat on the potato, being careful not to crush it under her weight. Staying silent, she began rubbing herself against the smooth surface of its skin. She moaned quietly, a tingle of pleasure running down her spine. It felt so good, better than what she imagined. What a shame the potato couldn't feel it too.

She continued her actions, releasing more of those sinful noises, which were getting louder and louder as she was rubbing her most sensitive spot. The potato was so good she was forgetting it was a simple vegetable, like if it wasn't the case before.

She was basically riding it right now and how strong her actions were, the closer she was from her orgasm. It was encouraging her to do more, which she did obviously. After a while, she finally had it, moaning the potato's "name" (?) as she covered its surface and skin with her juice.

But, as she was panting heavily, trying to catch her breath and calming herself from her high, she heard her bedroom door open.

"Беларусь ?"

It was Russia's voice ! She turned her head around, greeted by her brother staring at her, eyes big by shock.

The scene in front of him was one of the weirdest thing he ever saw in his whole life. He knew that his sister was obsessed with potatoes but not that much ! Really, seeing his sibling literally riding a vegetable !

When he heard her make those noises, he was actually worrying for her, maybe she could have hurt herself or something. He was expecting anything but that-

"Брат- I can explain-" she let out, not really knowing how to get herself out of this quite embarrassing situation.

Russia, who had stayed silent since he opened the door, just closed it again slowly. He took a deep breath, trying to get those "nightmarish pictures" out of his head. Some things better be forgotten and what just happened was one of them.
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Now you know that if you raise a child like USSR did, they will end up fucking potatoes.

Pardon me, I have sinned-