1968

Chapter 6

As I was getting for the party that John had invited me to, I was overwhelmed with an excitement that made my entire body tingle. I had been walking on clouds since I had gone to the studio, it was a high I wasn't sure I'd ever come down from.

"Have a light?" I asked Milly with a cigarette hanging from my lips as I struggled to zip up the back of my paisley patterned mini dress.

"Knock yourself out." She fished the lighter from her pocket and threw it to me as she flipped through a magazine on my bed. I fumbled with it before lighting my cigarette and threw it back. I was beyond nervous to see the boys again, and a little too eager for my own good.

"I don't think I've been so nervous in a long time." I played around with my hair nervously, trying to find which way it would fall perfectly as my cigarette hung from my lips.

"I can tell you really like them, any certain one in particular?" She pried with a smirk looking up from the magazine.

My face turned a instant crimson red.

"No, of course not they're like my bosses, plus, I'm not in a headspace to be thinking about that kind of stuff." I brushed her off thinking of Jeremy.

There was a moment of silence.

"Do you think he's really gone this time?" I whispered looking at Milly in the mirror behind me.

She had asked me the same the night he'd left for his alleged new job, but now I needed to hear her say he was gone. I needed him to be gone.

She sighed, putting the magazine down.

"God, I hope so," she offered a smile, "but he's like a pervert you meet at a rundown old pub at a gig, he's an absolute pain to get rid of." She said as I'd noticed I had shed a couple of silent tears.

He has left before, and I was always relieved when he did. When he was back, life was miserable. I didn't want him back, but somehow I didn't want to see him go the way he did. However, he never believed in me the way the boys do now.

"I don't know what I'd do if he came back." I wiped my eyes, ridding myself of the tumultuous feelings I had toward him since I had after all loved him once before.

"Hopefully, kick him to the curb." She said with a scoff causing me to laugh.

"I think I'd have no other choice." I smiled putting in my earrings swallowing the emotions once again.
                     _____________________

"You're sure you're feeling alright?" Alex asked looking me over once more as he and I pulled up to John Lennon's address.

"Course, I'll pop in and out," I spoke wanting to reassure myself more than him," "I'll call you." I smiled giving him a peck on the cheek before forcing myself to get out of the car, though my body was resisting.

"And if you don't, I'll know what you've been up to." Alex rolled down his window and winked at me causing me to make a gagging noise. He let out a belly laugh as I walked away with a smile, shaking my head. What an imagination he's got.

When I had gotten to John's front door there was a flash of uncertainty that went through my mind, but when I looked back to see if my options were still open I saw that Alex was gone. I sighed and knocked on the door, hearing lots of boisterous conversations inside. To my surprise, Paul opened the door, after I had heard a large amount of thudding from the other side of the door as if he'd rushed to it.

I blinked a couple times and smiled, a little startled by how quickly he'd opened the door.

"Sadie, you look beautiful love." Paul said bringing me into a hug, evidently quite tipsy.