1968

Chapter 16

"What d'you mean affair?" I spat out in disbelief.

"Shout it louder why don't ya?" John motioned clumsily back to all the people behind us, having realized what he'd blurted in his drunken state.

"I'm so tired. " I scoffed disgusted. "You'd say I'm putting you on, but, John, it's no joke. It's doing me serious harm being here." I shook my head trying to express my feelings.

"This, thing, I can't seem to figure out what to do. It just, I can't." I shook my head beginning to back away from him.

"Oh Sadie, don't be like tha.'" he began.

"John, you've got to sort yourself out first." I said finally before turning to walk back to the bungalow to clear my head.

On my way I took my time to try and ease my mind and calm myself before I potentially saw Cynthia, or Jane.

It seemed I was the antagonist in their stories, and I found myself mulling over the simple fact of how much I'd played a part in helping Paul and John be unfaithful.

I suppose I wasn't the first, and certainly not the last however, which helped me sleep at night.

When I had made it to the bungalow I had walked in and tried to calm myself, taking a deep breath right before realizing Mal was sitting in the common area reading a book, having looked up to me when I had come in.

"Hello," my mood lightened with a giggle at the way his mouth was slightly agape as I had caught him staring.

He closed the book quickly, uncrossing his legs from the position they'd been in.

"Hello, Sadie." He grinned fixing his glasses nervously.

"What's got you looking so upset?" He spoke after a moment having realized the state I was in when I had entered the bungalow.

"Everything." I shook my head tiredly. He immediately motioning for me to go over and sit on the couch beside him, patting the cushion.

I felt comfortable enough around him to do so, knowing I owed so much of my recent accomplishments to him, though it had caused me some recent grief. He had always been nothing but kind, especially in keeping what he saw between John and I a secret though I'm sure it was to save John more than I.

"John and Paul, I mean," I began.

"I know. Neither one will stop talking about ye. I wouldn't be surprised if they repeated your name as a mantra during those meditations." Mal spoke rubbing his temple with his thumb as a cigarette was between his pointer and middle fingers.

I laughed slightly though it made me feel worse. Poor Cyn and Jane. They probably despised me.

"Well they better start focusing on their own wives." I spoke with a scoff, stealing the cigarette from Mall's hands realizing it wasn't a cigarette at all and taking a puff anyway to try and alleviate my anxiety over the situation.

Mal found this amusing as I handed it back to him, a small smirk visible on his lips.

"I mean well, could you really blame them?"  Mal said, looking over to me with a grin.

Oh no.

I let out a small laugh blushing out of embarrassment and nervousness, which in hindsight could've been seen as the reason Mal thought it was a sigh to make a move.