Strictly Summer Romance (ON HOLD)

Chapter Thirty One, Regrets

As I return to the table, I make sure my chin is held high, my shoulders back, and my face composed. Most everyone at the table might know the reason that I left, but I'm not going to show it.

Aaron stands once again to pull my chair out for me and wastes no time in finding my hand when he takes his seat next to me.

The eyes of both my parents and Shaina flicker to me in nervousness, but I only greet them with a reassuring smile. I turn to Aaron with the same gesture before releasing his hand to pick up my menu. I may be a turmoil of destruction inside, but send me to hell if I'm going to let him see it.

It's weird the anger I feel right now. Ever since Alex left, all I've felt was guilt, and pain, and sadness about it, but now, actually seeing him, it's like a red hot monster is racing through my veins. All I want is to scream. At him.

No, you don't.

I position the oversized menu just high enough to block Alex's face. The last thing I need to be doing is glancing at him every five seconds.

My eyes scan the words before me but don't process them whatsoever. After going over the menu several times, I settle on the first thing that sounds familiar before laying it neatly back down before me.

It's not until now that I take notice of Mason's tense posture beside me. His muscles sit flexed, taught against his suit. His fingertips nearly white with his grip on his menu. He's been staring at it ever since I got back.

In an act of bravery, I slide my hand over his leg, just as he'd done to mine. I watch as he jumps slightly at the contact and blinks down at me, coming out of the rabbit hole he'd been lost in. I give his leg a small squeeze and smile in reassurance before turning back to the table of chattering people and reach for my drink.

My grip nearly slips from the glass when I feel Mason's fingers envelop my own. My heart stutters at the contact. A small stream of comfort floating through me.

It dissipates the second I'm reminded we're not alone.

Alice rejoins us not long after, and the waiter soon follows, bringing our ordered appetizers, and taking our orders for the main course.

I can't help but feel guilty when I look to Alice's red rimmed eyes. Was I unfair to not forgive her instantly? She's my best friend. My sister. Am I wrong to need a little time?

The thoughts fall short when my father stands, gently chiming his glass of scotch with his fork. "Everyone," he clears his throat. "I'd like to start off the night's toasts with a special happy birthday to each one of our beautiful daughters. The two of you shed so much light on our lives, I fear we'd know nothing but darkness without you. Happy birthday, girls."

My heart swells with his sweet words. There is no better father on Earth.

A series of happy birthday's follow as everyone gently clinks their drinks and the dinner commences.

Laughter bubbles from our parents two sides of the table, while the six of us sit awkwardly quiet, no one knowing what to say or how to act. Aaron tries to hold conversations with Mason and I, but neither of us have many words to contribute to it.

Mason's hand never leaves mine. His thumb rubs small patterns into my skin, and every so often, he'll squeeze it lightly.

I focus all my energy on not looking across the table. I feel Alex's eyes on me several times, but I ignore them with every ounce of strength I have.

I try and reign in all the anger I posses, throwing it full force at the soft spot I have for him. He doesn't get to leave, and then show back up when I'm finally okay. He doesn't get to play the martyr. He doesn't get to make me feel guilty for something that never happened.