And So She Slept

Closer

Trying to avoid the question, Sadie wasn't able to hide the fact that she hadn't even thought about the binder, or completing any of the items on the list. It wasn't that she wasn't grateful for the money and heart people had poured into all of the cards they'd given her, but a simple look at the decorated binder reminded her of her ever-fading mortality. Going about everyday as if nothing had changed made her feel that all of it had just been a bad dream, and she wanted to stay in her ignorance-induced bliss until the bitter end.

Pulling the lasagna out of the oven, Sadie instinctively inhaled the steam rising off of the lightly blackened cheese. The scent immediately gave her a sense of home that faded as quickly as it came. The sound of Krystina's phone from the other room broke the spell the comfort food's memories had held her under. For a moment, she almost forgot what she was doing, or that she had guests waiting for her. After all of the nights spent researching and reading pseudoscience and worldly medical research websites, her lack of sleep continued to pull her attention span in different directions.

"Need help in there, Sadie?" Krystina called from the living room.

Instead of answering, she slipped on her red retro oven mitts and carried the glass casserole dish into the living room. Smiling at the wonders a pasta dish could do to lift the spirits of everyone made her remember why her grandmother had always loved to cook. Jack put his nose into the air like a hunting dog as the steam danced past his side of the couch. Holding his empty plate out in preparation for the one pound slice of lasagna, Jack waited while Krystina smirked at the correlation between Pavlov's bell and the oven timer.

"This looks amazing, thank you," Jack gushed as he blew on the first large bite before anyone else could get to theirs.

"Have you not eaten in the past three days? Pace yourself," Krystina laughed at her brother.

In the silence that usually fell upon the initial fifteen minutes of any meal as the first pieces of lasagna were eaten, only the sounds of the badly behaved women on television pierced the air. Krystina and Sadie exchanged looks as the women competed for the heart of a bachelor that surely only wanted the media attention. On the surface, Jack acted as if he could never see the interest in reality television, but subtly glanced up to see which of the lucky ladies won the solo date challenge.

"So, I called my friend that has that hot air balloon business, and he gave me the number for his aunt, who also runs an art gallery. Which did you want me to book first, or do you want to pick something else? Vegas?" Krystina asked with a eyebrow wiggle and a swig of the blush wine she'd brought with her to the loft.

Jack looked up quickly, trying to make his interest less than obvious. He watched Sadie's face intently, trying to read whether or not she'd seen the last page of the "Bucket List Binder". Noticing his reaction, Sadie looked at him with a raised brow as he shrugged and resumed eating the second helping of dinner. Krystina watched the exchange, and from it, knew right away that Sadie hadn't even opened the binder since the night of the party. She didn't want to rush the subject, or push Sadie to do any of it, but she wasn't sure she liked not knowing how to help.

"Umm...I think I'd like to wait a little. I don't know. I just need...I want to take more time to process everything. It's happening so fast and I want to wait a little longer."

"Ok hun, but can you promise to call me when you're ready?" Krystina asked her honestly. She hoped her tone didn't paint her as a pushy saleswoman, but she wanted to ensure she was understood.

"Are you mad?" Sadie wondered out loud. "It's not that I don't appreciate what you guys have done for me, it's just...a lot. Does that make sense?"

"No one is mad, S," Jack spoke up. "Take your time. We'll wait for your say so, ok?"

Sadie nodded and smiled, but not from bliss. Jack was well-versed in every smile Sadie expressed, and this one was of relief. He could tell that she didn't want to talk about it, and even though he was waiting for the day she'd see the ring, he loved her too much to push her into seeing anything she wasn't ready for.