And So She Slept

The Long Road

Feeling her heart pump harder at the sound of Jack's voice, a tear fell down Sadie's cheek. Adam smiled and gave her a helpful nudge before leaving the room to give them some long awaited space. As she heard his weighted footsteps decrescendo into the living room, she turned her attention fully to Jack. Looking past his aging shell, she could hear the man she once knew through the sounds of the machines that monitored his vitals. She walked over to his outstretched shaking hand and watched him smile as she slipped her hand into his.

"I am...I'm so sorry, J," Sadie cried freely.

"I'm not. I knew you'd come back...I always knew we'd see each other again, just thought it'd be sooner...you look just as beautiful as I remember," he spoke as he fought the tears in his eyes.

"I should have never left you alone. I thought I would be right back."

"I never held that against you, S."

"I found your letter, see?" Sadie blurted. She held her shaking hand up to show him the familiar family ring she's sure he thought was lost forever. A weak smile curled the right side of his face as he held her hand to his heart.

"You didn't have to put that on for me, you know. It's sweet that you did."

"I didn't do it just for show, J. I would have put it on the moment I saw it had I not been so wrapped up in my own fear to read the damn binder...I'll never forgive myself," she admitted as she bowed her head, ashamed of not making time to read the cards sooner.

"I couldn't ask you that night. I wanted to, but I couldn't. You were so scared, and I took one look at you and...I just couldn't do it," Jack offered as his own regret.

"What night? You were going to ask me to marry you?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah," he answered, coughing hard enough to make his heart monitor beep. Catching his breath, he held her hand tighter and continued. "The party. I went out onto that balcony to find you. I had that card in my pocket and when I saw you out there in that dress, I should have asked, but I didn't. Even when we danced, and you let me kiss you. I was too chicken shit. I've thought about that night a lot while you were gone."

"I remember that song. I remember the way you looked at me. I felt so safe, almost like nothing could hurt me. I felt so safe in your arms...I still would," Sadie hinted.

No matter how much time had gone by, her feelings for him hadn't faded. His voice still made the lightly fluttering butterflies in her stomach dance, and the touch of his hands still made her weak. Cursing her selfish past once again, she was immensely grateful that he wasn't going to hold it against her. As he slid over slightly in the hospital bed, Sadie slipped off the flat shoes from the ACCI and carefully cuddled into his chest. Although his arms around her were more frail than strong, she smiled at how unimaginably lucky she was for this moment.

"My Sadie," he said as he exhaled.

"Always. I was always yours, J. You had to have known."

"I only wished I knew. All I knew was that I was yours whether you wanted me or not. I tried it without you, and I think they always knew it was never going to be like it was with you," he realized. Using his free hand to pet her hair, he closed his eyes and inhaled as the scent of her shampoo crept into his memory.

"Like Adam's mom?"

"We were married for a while. I just couldn't stop believing that one day you'd come back. I suppose no one wants to be second. Anyone was second to you. It feels so good to hold you again," Jack repeated. He couldn't remember if he'd already said it out loud or just a hundred times in his mind.

"We could get married now. Today," Sadie offered. "Why don't we finish what we started?"

"Oh Sadie...I don't need you to marry me. Look at me. I'm an old man. I know I'm dying. I thought I had already died when I saw you walk through that door."

"But I love you...I don't care how old we are."

"All that matters is that you're finally here. Let me just have this time to hold onto you and make up for all these years," he wished out loud as he clung to her. "Just seeing you again is enough. It's all I ever wanted."

"I do, and I did, you know. I loved you then too. I should have said it," she continued.

"No use in should, beautiful. We're still the lucky ones."

"How? I wasted so much of the time we could have spent doing something else."

"We're lucky because we know what love feels like. Some people die without ever knowing what this is. Even if we only had it for a short while...we were still lucky enough to know. Even though you were gone, I loved you every day," Jack explained, taking shallow breaths between every few words.

As the sun began to set, the warm lighting in the room brightened before it dimmed. They held each other, afraid to let go again, and talked about the past. He told her about how becoming a father changed his life, and she talked about her experiences within the ACCI for orientation.

His hands held hers, his fingertips tracing the outline of his grandmother's ring that fit so perfectly on her finger. When the room became dark enough, the table lamp automatically clicked onto its lowest setting to accommodate a comfortable sleep. Jack hadn't stayed awake so long in months, and became aware of his slower heart rate and heavy eyelids.

"That song. That song we danced to. Sing it to me?" he asked her.

"Of course, J," she obliged. Closing her eyes, she hummed the tune she could barely remember from a night she would never forget.

His vitals beeped like a metronome, slowing the pace of the wordless song until she unknowingly drifted into sleep in the arms of her greatest regret.