And So She Slept

Slipped Out of a Dream

Opening her eyes and stretching her arms upwards as she would from waking fully rested, Sadie took a deep inhale and released it slowly. Sitting up, the light from the digital bay window signaled that it was most likely late morning. She took a sip from the water on the nightstand, and creased her brows, curious why the nurses hadn't tried to wake her sooner. Bit by bit, flashes of her memory of the orientation began to seep into her mind, reminding her exactly why they'd left her alone in her room.

Sadie pushed her blonde hair behind her ear, and wiped the hundredth tear from her corner-crusted eye. She could remember being in and out of clarity the night before, barreling through every stage of grief imaginable. Stretching her legs, her toes touched the edges of the heavy box, shaking her from the memories that held her. Looking at the foot of the bed, she noticed that her safety deposit box had been opened, waiting for her perusal. She knew the gesture was meant to ground her, and for that small bit of kindness, she was thankful.

Scooting over on the bed to sit closer to the box, she reached into it touch the first item. Pulling out a thick envelope, she opened the top and looked down inside. She could see the usual documents to identify herself and start her life over again stacked neatly together in order from smallest to largest. Krystina was responsible for that detail as well as the pink ribbon around it. Closing her eyes, Sadie tried her best to remember the moment she saw it. Krystina told her everything in the envelope should be tied in ribbon so that she could open her second chance at life like the gift it was. Opening her eyes with a soft smile, she thought fondly of Krystina as she closed the envelope and set it aside to reach into the box again.

Pausing to take another sip of water, she truly was thankful that the nurses had allowed her some space to process everything on her own. Putting her now steady hand back into the box, she pulled out the photos that used to hang in the frames on the wall in her loft.

Her loft. She'd almost forgotten that adorable loft and all of the memories made there, especially all of the memories that Jack and Krystina had been such a big part of. Flipping through the photos, she smiled at how simple her life was before everything changed.

Stretching her arms as she yawned, Sadie began to realize how exhausting her 53 year trip down memory lane could be. Peering over the top of the box, she saw the last item safely kept inside, and lifted it up into the light. Krystina's handwriting on the cover was not only delicate, but as eccentric as she was. Cradling the binder to her chest, she wrapped herself in the white blanket from the bed and sat in the chair across the room to read all of the cards from the Bon Voyage party that seemed so far away.

Opening the binder, Sadie smiled softly. She touched the cards like she had years ago when she last sat down to read every page. Within an hour she had almost reached the end, trying not to cry as she felt so heartbroken for the lost time, but grateful for the kindness before she entered the ACCI. Page after page, she began to blink slower and more often, the overflow of emotion taking its toll. Almost to the end, Sadie drifted slowly into sleep, unknowingly letting the binder slip from her fingertips onto the floor with a thud.

The sound shook her from her moment of slumber. Still wrapped in the blanket, she knelt onto the floor to pick it up and place it back into the box. Lifting it up to cradle it back into her chest, a curious look washed over her face as a blue envelope slipped out of the back of the binder and gently fell to the floor. Creasing her brows, as she knew she'd never seen it before, she picked it up and instantly noticed a handwriting she hadn't seen in decades. Jack. Thinking it was a kind gesture alone, her heart fell to her knees when her fingertips felt something inside. Knowing the familiar circle, her tears fell freely as she ripped it open to confirm what she already knew.

Out of the envelope slipped a folded piece of paper...and a ring. Sadie's hands shook as she fought to catch her breath. She opened the letter, barely able to read it through her tears, suddenly aware of the greatest loss she'd ever experienced.

Sadie,

I know I've never been good with words, so no point in trying to start now. I don't have a beautiful way to say this, but nothing will say it the way I wish it would, so here it goes. I love you. I know that you're scared, and I'm scared too. The thought of losing you scares me more than anything I've ever known, and seeing you just as afraid tears me apart. When Krys mentioned putting together this binder, and doing all of these bucket list things, I tried to think of ideas. It made me realize something I think I always knew. My bucket list is you. It always has been. What I'm saying, in the best way I know how, is marry me. I don't care about time. I only care about wasting it. Go all in with me. Just this once. I don't want to live out the rest of our days wondering what we could have been. If you feel the same way, you don't have to say anything. The ring on your finger will say everything I need to know. Marry me, S. I love you.

Yours, Jack

Reading the last words of the letter, Sadie slipped the ring onto her finger and cried out. The pain in her chest was unbearable and radiating through every limb. Rocking back and forth on the floor, she held the old letter tightly in her hand and tried to catch her breath. Thousands of thoughts raced through her mind, but instantly one stood out among the rest. Every time Jack had asked if she finished reading the binder, she knew it was only to determine whether she'd seen his envelope in the back.

Hearing the grief through the door of her room, the two nurses rushed in. Trying to pick her up off of the floor, Sadie pushed back, keeping them at arm's length as the diamond ring caught the ceiling's track lighting.

"I didn't know. I didn't see it...I have to leave," she sobbed, holding the letter to her heart.

"Let's get back in bed, dear," Rita said with a caring maternal tone in hopes that she could calm Sadie enough to tell her everything.

"I can't. I'm so sorry...I have to go...to find him. When can I go?"

"I thought you'd ask. Let's get into bed and rest up. Dr. Lewis said if you can finish your orientation, they'll approve your clearance so you can come and go as you please," Rita answered. She put a firm hand under Sadie's arm and lifted her to her feet. As they walked to the bed, she could feel Sadie's body quaking with shock. Tucking her in, she let her hold the letter and admired the beautiful ring she'd only heard of, but had never seen.

"How will I find him? It's been so long," Sadie wondered as she wiped her tears from her cheek.

"We have last known addresses available with your clearance badge and materials. Don't worry, dear."

As Sadie closed her eyes tightly, exhausted from the hidden declaration of love, Rita and her colleague slowly left the room as if they were parents with a newborn. Turning down the lights and closing the door behind them, Rita put her hand over her heart. She couldn't bear to tell her how Jack had visited the ACCI for decades, talking to the suspension chamber like a mourning lover to a gravestone. She wasn't sure if she'd ever tell Sadie, or if it would even matter now, but it had given her hope in true love for as long as she could remember.