A book for beautiful melanated kpop stansఌ
! THIS STORY CONTAINS SMUT AND 18+ RELATED THEMES!
if smut makes you uncomfortable please look to see if the chapter has a 🃏 emoji at the beginning
Genre: angst Warning: mentions of miscarriage 1.4kwords;unedited
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You sat at the polished marble island and stared at the food you'd spent almost an hour cooking. You didn't have an appetite, the though of eating the food in front of you was making you cringe. This had been you're routine for the past two weeks. Waking up to an empty bed, crying in the shower alone , then your body would lead you into the kitchen to cook, not that you were hungry.
Sometimes you would end up with a small bowl of soup other times you could end up with a five course meal, but you're appetite would be non-existent and you would end up tears in your eyes while putting the food in tupperware and into the freezer so it wouldn't spoil just sitting inside your refrigerator. You missed doing things with Jin and it tore you down even more that he was in the same house as you but ignoring your entire existence.
Cooking was therapeutic for you, it calmed your nerves when you were anxious or just needed to think . This is what brought you and Jin together. You both shared half of your time either eating or cooking and you were both okay with that , but every since your miscarriage you've been crying and cooking up a storm as a coping mechanism to try and get your mind off of the constant throbbing pain in your chest.
It may sound silly to some but you were an only child growing up so you learned different ways to help you cope and found cooking to be the best thing that eased your mind and calmed your anxious nerves. But right now cooking wasn't enough.
You needed him, you needed him badly at a time like this but he's been neglecting you affection and support, he went as far as sleeping in the guest room. He'd only give you small glances and short blunt answers when the two of you did communicate, which was rare the past three weeks because he "need time to get is head straight". The statement took you through a rollercoaster of emotions you had shed tears right then and there, heart breaking thinking of the worst possibilities. Then you felt anger but that only lasted but a minute and you wanted nothing more than to be in your husband's arms comforting each other so the both of you can heal.
So each day after you cooked, you'd take a plate to him to try and get him to eat and each time he had an attitude and cursed at you to leave him alone. He was completely putting your feelings aside like he was the only one who lost a child, but you try again each day because after all you still love him to death and need him.
After placing the meals into the deep freezer you grabbed the one you left out for Jin. You headed up the stairs food in hand, once you got to the guest room you softly knocked.
"Jinnie?" you called out, voice shaky hoping that today would be the day he got his shit together and stop treating you like someone on the street. There has been many times during the two week period that you almost threw the hot food in his face because of his nasty attitude, but you would stop yourself and realize he lost the baby as well.
