Nineteen

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Von's hands are rough. He makes up for it with the lightest touches, grip loosening as he moves from my shoulder to my lower back. He's just touching, just teasing, as we both come down. Feathering along the curve of my spine with the tips of his fingers, feathering along my collarbones with each flutter of his eyelashes.

I lean into him more than I already am in my limp, exhausted state. I couldn't hold myself up even if I wanted to. I couldn't stay away even if I wanted to.

Von still has one hand tight on my waist. As I nuzzle into the side of his neck and face, he speaks.

"Okay, Mia." It's breathless.

But I can't stop breathing him in. His sweat and cologne forming some kind of spell, I can't pull away like he is. I tighten my arms around his shoulder and squeeze closer as his grip gets looser.

"Come on. It's done, Mia," Von says as he takes hold of one of my arms.

"No," I breathe out just to inhale sharply. I can still feel him inside me. I can still feel the spill and leftover thrill. It's still lingering. I open my mouth just to taste it. I press my tongue flat against his jaw.

"No?"

"Can we just stay like this for a little bit longer?" I ask once I take my mouth off of him.

"A little bit," Von says. He's staring at the rope marks on his wrists. Tiny indentations on his skin, red with one drawing a thin line of blood. They're in the prettiest pattern. "I can't wait to use these on you." He has a faraway look in his eyes. Parted lips on his parted words and I know he has more he wants to say.

I hum in response, willing away the thoughts of being so dangerously vulnerable and so under his control. I want it right now.

"At least let me take it out of you," Von says after a minute.

"No," I shake my head. "Then I'm gonna feel empty."

Von presses a hand to my lower back, runs his fingers along my skin as he raises me slowly. "I'm still here," He says in a hushed voice.

I have one hand tugging his hair and one squeezing his shoulder. He slips out with a string of our hot fluids. For a moment, the weirdest thought goes through my mind. I think we're going to stay like this until I tell him I don't want to anymore. I think we're going to stay like this all night.

Von hisses when the cold air hits his lasting sensitivity. He places his hands on my hips as he speaks. "You make me feel good. You make me feel like I can be good."

"How?" I speak into his skin. I've begun lightly sucking his collarbones. It's impossibly warm and the scent is so intense here. It's comforting.

"Every time I touch you, every time I fuck you, it's not just about control over you. I realize I can control myself, that I have to. Every. Single. Time. You make me realize I'm better than who I think I am." Von says as he starts to squeeze me.

I nod, relish in the sound he lets out when my teeth graze him.

"I told you, you can do whatever you want with me."

Von stills at my words. "You're making it so hard for me these days."

"Then stop holding back."

"Look at you now," He pulls back and I whine at the loss of contact. "You're so small and needy. You beg for it. Like you would just take anything I gave you. Like you want it that bad. I'd love to just... see you break."

Von lets his eyes roam my body until they get stuck on my waist, on the bruises he didn't give me.

"Seven had a nightmare last night and... he had a hard time getting out of it," I speak uninterrupted until I notice Von's eyes light up in blue flames. "Before you say anything, Romero already scolded me about it and I promised Seven to never go near him when he's like that again."

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