PvZ - One Shots and Stories

A Pirate's Dearest Treasure

A pigeon lighted down on a ship with some seagulls.

On her leg held a message carrier, occupied.

The sway of the waves didn't affect the old captain that approached the bird.

Now the message carrier was vacant.

The wrong receiver held the message in hand, confused. He took it down below his deck and wrote a response.

The message carrier was now occupied.

The pigeon took this as a sign to return to her lady.

***

"Dearest,

You wrote back after I sent the ol' pigeon back to ye. It quite surprised Ol' Deadbeard here, and I don't take it that ye'd ever expect such as I of all pirates. That letter you had sent me gave me ol' spine a tingle, I hadn't know such a flogging might come outta a lady's mouth! Well, outta a lady's pen I s'ppose. You laid quite a gobsmackin' on me for doin' such as receiving your letter. I warn't e'en my fault ya know?

I sent ye a real letter early on, I do s'ppose you'll be gettin that soon enough from that bird o' yours. Quite a lovely thing, ain't it? That ol' bird's got such a slick shine on it, one might jus' believe that the mighty king o' plants 'imself had raised it! Any-who, I doubt ye'll ever know my true name, as I can tell nothin' about wether you're some zombie, human lady, or plant. An old salt like me knows that there be hardly any difference in mindset an' education. I myself was well learn-ed, back in ye old days on the sea, the true sea.

Ah, make me think of the sea and I lose any point, don't I? Well, if ye' truly wish to know dearest, I myself am a zombie, well known and feared, might I add! I dare not to sign me true name as Ol' Deadbeard, I simply signed ye letter with and X, just like I do with all me maps to my treasure!

Aye, it be quite embarrassin' to write in secret to a lady, let alone one I know nothin' about! Yet, to write down a letter, that no one but me might see, to a lady, it could be seen as a scandalous act if anything! Whether she be a fathom away or such as a country, it be mighty shameful of me to write these things. I hope no hornswaggler will find these messages, as I be send in' them out to sea in a bottle, the ol' fashioned way! I dare not for S.T.E.V.E. or any blasted zombie be snoopin' 'round my things and behaps findin' my messages.

Well, m'lady Dearest, I be waitin' here for ye message that you be casting out to me. I do hope that you might have a word to say about me ol' shark, I've been gettin' quite worried about 'is diet.

All to you m'lady,
X"

***

"Dearest,

In yer letter, you spoke of a castle and a garden. I, of course, asked ye about yer origins, not that I expect such a brash lady to answer. Now, in this letter of mine, I ask ye about more than just ye origins, I inquire of yer genesis. Yes, I told ye that I was learn-ed in my last secret note, I did not lie m'dear. I know of the castle beyond these hills of Zomburbia where Roses run 'bout with their pompous ways of olde. I cross my heart to feed it to the fishes if ye are a Rose, I don't want no pesky Roses talkin' to me anywhere about my ship!

You talked about some duty keepin' you at that castle that you despise so. I can only wonder if ye're some maid or maiden of the castle, set in' those pompous Roses, for I know they be the vilest of all the plants. I wish you good luck and for yer pigeon I wish Godspeed on her way to the garden with me real letter.