50. Preparing

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I entered the dining hall, the dwarves nodding and smiling from their seats as I took my usual seat, a plate of ham with a side of cheese set on the table. I looked around as I ate, Thorin sitting beside me. I thought Gandalf and Beorn were said to be back, I saw no sign of the two. I jumped slightly, reaching for one of my knives, when I felt a hand reach under the table and grab my free hand, the one I wasn't eating with.

I fought the reflex, realising it was just Thorin, holding my hand. This was taking a lot to get used to, I'm not used to being touched. And, if someone did touch me, it was usually because they wanted a fight, not just to hold my hand. Those people usually found their hand broken. I continued to eat like nothing happened, not even looking at Thorin as he held my hand under the table.

I stood after I finished eating, moving and handing Fairfin some berries from where he sat on the window when I heard the loud stomping footsteps of a giant man. So Beorn really is back. I turned my head, watching as Beorn and Gandalf entered. I watched, hand held out to Fairfin, who continued to eat grapes from my hand. Gandalf stood off to the side, lighting his pipe and taking a few puffs from it, looking disturbed by something.

Beorn picked up the giant pitcher that is half my size, beginning to move about the table, filling cups with milk as more dwarves piled into the room.

I had learned from Bofur that Gandalf told them why he followed Beorn, and where. Turns out Beorn wanted to see if what we told was the truth and went to the scene where all the problems with the orcs happened. Gandalf followed him, mostly to check our trail and see what happened to the orc pack tailing us. Bofur said Gandalf was worried by the lack of the same orc pack that chased us, wondering where the pack and Azog went.

I really hoped they didn't go back for reinforcements. I don't think our ragtag company can take more orcs. We barely withstood the first round against a much smaller orc pack.

We need to get back on the move. There is only so much protection a giant man who can turn into a bear can offer.

Beorn turned, studying me feeding Fairfin grapes, before turning his eyes on Thorin, who is leaning against support beam not too far from where I am standing. Fairfin picked the last grape from my hand, croaking appreciatively, before flying over to Thorin's shoulder. Since I started spending a lot more time around the dwarf, so has Fairfin. Thorin even told me some of the things Fairfin said about me, saying that the raven sees me quite highly. It's clear Fairfin trust's Thorin a lot now. He will fly between mine of Thorin's shoulder all the time.

I walked over and leaned against the beam as well, Thorin looking down at me as I smirked. While his expression did not change, I could see the amusement in his eyes, as well as the lightness that seems to brighten that deep blue into an even more vibrant shade. I looked back at the table, watching Beorn move around before he looked at Thorin again, a strange anger in his gaze.

"So you are the one they call Oakenshield. Tell me, why is Azog the Defiler hunting you?" Beorn questioned finally, filling a cup with milk. I watched curiously, subtly leaning a touch more towards Thorin, the cloth of his overcoat touching my coat. I have been trying my hardest to deny this draw to being around Thorin. But also... I was doing it convince myself this is real.

I am still struggling with the idea that a handsome, amazing dwarf like Thorin would like me so much. Most people don't like me. Anger and irritated looks are what I am used to, so I have a hard time believing all of this is... real. It's a weakness I will not be admitting to anytime soon, or ever. Plus, why would a royal dwarf, a king, like me of all people? I am about as far from being dignified and proper as one can get.

I mean, really, I curse worse than some drunk men, I have no care for how I look, I hate dresses, and I have absolutely no care for people's opinions of me, except if it is against my stature or my choice of living. I am about as far as one female can get from being a lady or royalty.

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