117. My Hidden Plans

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I glared at Thorin as he carefully pulled me along out of the tent. He didn't force me to, but I got sense that he would not let this conversation drop. I hate that Thorin was able to read between my words so well into what I had planned but wasn't telling, it irritated me. When did Thorin get so good at reading between my words? When did he get the ability to see beyond my raised walls into what I wasn't telling?

Thorin pulled me up a set of stairs on the wall and around away from the people on guard, underneath one of the overhangs. At this twilight hour, no one could see us. Yet, I could see Thorin's intense look in the flickering flames of a torch lit nearby as he turned to face me, releasing my hands and cross his arms as he stared me down.

"What?" I growled, going on the defensive. I was not about to have Thorin talk me out of my plan. It is my last resort sort of plan, and I wouldn't tell him it for fear he actually may talk me out of doing it, if the need arises.

Thorin raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

"You are planning something, something you are not telling us." Thorin said in a gruff, annoyed tone. I kept my expression clear, yet glared lightly at Thorin, feeling the want rising to argue with Thorin.

"No, I am not, I told you the plan I had in mind and that is it." I growled as Thorin's eyes narrowed at me. Why did I fall for the most stubborn dwarf in existence?

"No, you told us the plan of your plan you wanted to admit, but not all of it. So tell me what it is or I will find a way to lock you in Erebor for the battle. And, trust me, I can." Thorin growled as I glared angrily at him. Did he seriously just threaten to lock me inside Erebor?! Seriously, Thorin, I thought we were past this.

Yet, as I glared back at him, my temper beginning to make a rise to take over my thoughts and argue with him for who knows how long, I noticed how... different this argument is from our usual arguments. Normally Thorin would lightly argue back and never force me to admit the truth unless I am ready to. No, with this argument... I could tell Thorin was completely serious.

Why? I glared at him, yet watched his black expression closely for little tells. His hands clenched tightly in worry, his arms cross to keep from reaching out to me, his tense posture suggesting he expects me to fight him on this...

He doesn't want to argue with me, he is genuinely worried for my safety. I can see in in his little actions now, and, while the old me would have gotten angrier at him for worrying for my safety, I knew now that he loves me as much as I do him and he knows I can defend myself, but he also knows whatever I am planning is dangerous... to myself. Darn dwarf, way too observant for his own good.

That broke my anger before it could take over, though, knowing he worries for me. I sighed heavily, looking away as I attempted to rein in my annoyance, anger, and confusion.

"Thorin, I know the risks of this coming battle, I know that there may be chances we are not enough to disband this army of orcs about to attack us. Yet, I do have a plan in mind if it comes to the worst, but please trust me, I know what I am doing." I said calmly, dodging around the fact that, while I did vaguely know what I was doing, it is also a serious danger to my health. Fairfin croaked lowly on my shoulder, the bird having been silent for hours now. I get the feeling Fairfin is very aware of the tension in the air and the danger on the horizon. He hasn't left my side since the start of all of this, but I got the sense...

There there was something he misses terribly, which makes me hurt. Did Fairfin find a friend? Or does he miss the road, days spent with little worry as we wandered the wilds? I felt for my raven, but whatever it is that is causing this feeling, he has been suppressing it a out for me. I love Fairfin all the more for that, he and I share such a bond. I knew I would do anything for him, and he would do anything for me.

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