🔘 Chapter 19: Individual Healing

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Leo's Pov

"Jaysean" I moaned as he continued to kiss along my neck

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"Jaysean" I moaned as he continued to kiss along my neck. All the while, I was moving back to the bed. When my legs hit the frame, he grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head.

"Fuck, you look sexy baby" he hummed staring at my body.

"We still need to talk" I sighed running a hand through my hair.

"Later" he spoke before pushing me on the bed.

"Jay" I protested raising myself up on my arms.

"Yeah?" he hummed pulling off his pants. He was about to remove his underwear when I stopped him.

 He was about to remove his underwear when I stopped him

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"We never talk about our issues. Every time there is a problem, we have sex and nothing ever gets resolved. Not until we end up yelling at each other. I don't want to keep repeating the same cycle over and over again because we're not getting anywhere" I explained.

"Leo can't we do this after" he groaned.

"No" I stated standing my ground.

"Fine. What you wanna talk about?" Jay asked sitting down beside me.

"I'm sorry for lying to you. I know that I have been hurting you because I couldn't tell you that I loved you. I'm sorry that it took me so long to get here" I breathed.

"You don't have to apologize. I was an asshole for pressuring you all the time. I knew you loved me but, I got stuck on the fact you hadn't said it. Sorry" he spoke. I nodded in response and sat there for a moment enjoying the silence before I asked my next question.

"Did you sleep with her?" I mumbled.

"Who?" he asked.

"Leslie. Did you sleep with my sister that night?" I questioned staring at him.

"No. After you walked in and saw, I left. Listen, I was high as hell and in my feelings about what had happened to us. It didn't mean anything. It was nothing" he said.

"It was something. You kissed my damn sister. We had broken up but, out of everyone you chose her. That isn't nothing to me Jaysean" I argued getting mad all over again.

"You know I don't feel that way about your nasty ass sister" Jay scoffed.

"That isn't the real problem here" I sighed standing up.

"Then what is because I'm fucking clueless right now!" he snapped irritated.

"The problem is that this is the third time you've done something with a woman while we were messing around. You keep using the excuse that you were fucked up or I undermine your feelings. These things don't give you a damn pass! First, it was sleeping with that girl at the party in Texas. I forgave you because we weren't together and I spent the night with Holden. Then that kiss with you and your ex which I once again let go! But, you purposely kissing Leslie, I don't know if I can just move past that shit!" I spat pissed off.

"Leo-" he started but, I cut him off.

"My therapist told me I bury things inside, that I never really deal with what's bothering me. I can't do that anymore especially, in this relationship" I explained.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he told me getting up. He walked over to where I was standing and placed his hands on my sides.

"I know but, it doesn't change anything. Breaking up with you in my office that day, it hurt but, I was able to finally get some help. I don't think that us getting back together is the right thing" I breathed removing his hands and stepping back.

"What?" Jay hissed.

"Maybe it's best if we stay apart for the moment. Seeing you kiss my sister, it showed me that neither of us is ready to be in a relationship right now. All we've been doing is hurting each other since I came up here. I don't want that" I sighed.

"Leo, what the fuck? You finally tell me you love me but, we can be together. What kind of shit is that?" he groaned.

"It's me choosing to focus on myself before trying to jump back into our rollercoaster of a relationship. I love you, I do but, at the moment that isn't enough. I don't want to lie to you and say it is. I need to be alone and focus on work and my therapy" I said.

I wanted to tell him the truth. After that kiss with my sister and looking at the past, my trust in him had wavered. It hurt too because out of everyone in my life, I had begun to depend on him the most.

"You serious about this?" he hummed.

"Yeah and I understand if you want to go out and sleep with other people. We aren't together so, I can't expect anything from you" I murmured even though the thought of him with someone else pissed me off.

"Stop. I can wait. For you, I can" he whispered walking over and kissing me.

"Jaysean-" I began but, he cut me off.

"I got you like you got me" he muttered resting his forehead on mine.

"Yeah" I exhaled.

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Is anyone else's sleep schedule all fucked up due to this quarantine?

Anyways, Jay and Leo finally sat down and talked. Some things came out and for the moment they aren't getting back together. It isn't uncommon for people to take a break from their relationship to figure shit out. Sometimes that's the best thing you can do. Next up our guest appears and they're going to set a few things straight. Can't wait.

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---MissTAYTAY1 XOXO

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