A Lobotomy And Some Tights

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"So..." Bender trailed off. "So! Are you guys like, boyfriend and girlfriend?" they both tried to stay silent, but the rebel kept talking. "Steady dates? Lo-vers? Come on, Sporto, level with me, do you slip her the hot...beef...injection?" "GO TO HELL!" Claire shouted. "ENOUGH!" Andrew added. "Hey!" Vernon yelled from his office. "What's going on in there?" "Mind ya' own business, girl!" Alan shouted, causing Brian to swiftly put his hand over the pretty boys mouth. "Shut up! Do you want  us all to end up here again?" Alan shook his head. "Then stay quiet," Brian said before taking his hand off Alan's mouth. "Why don't we just close the door?" Bender said, walking over to the railing and sitting down on top of it. "We can't have any kind of party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds," "Well, y'know the door's supposed to stay open..." Brian advised. "So what?-" "Why don't you just shut up?" Andrew forced himself in the conversation. "There's five other people in here, y'know..." "God, you can count, I knew you had to be smart to be a...a wrestler," "Oooh, I knew he was a hunk!" Alan got up and walked over to Andrew. Oh god... everyone thought. "Hol' up, lemme feel them muscles!" Alan walked behind the athlete and tried to grab his arm, but Andrew slapped his wrists with such a force that Alan ended up falling down. "Get your hands off me!" he shouted. "Lover boy, be a little more gentle next time!" Alan teased. Andrew groaned and turned around, stepping back far enough so he could see both Bender and Alan. "Y'know, you two don't even count. I mean, if either of you disappeared forever it wouldn't make a difference. You two may as well not even exist at this school."

      His words actually hit a soft spot in Bender, though he himself wouldn't admit it. He looked at Alan's hurt expression and decided he wasn't going to give up just yet. "Well, I guess we'll both just run right out and join the wrestling team!" Alan looked up at him and laughed. "Maybe the prep club too! Student council." "Nah, they wouldn't take either of ya'." Andrew remarked. "I'm hurt," Bender said, sarcastically. "You know why guys like you knock everything..." Claire entered the conversation. "Oh, this should be stunning..." Bender said, making Alan smile. "It's cause you're afraid," "Oh, god! You ritchies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities!" Bender said, mockingly. "You're a big coward!" Claire said. "I'm in the math club." Brian stated out of nowhere. Alan simply sat and watched the fight play out in front of him "See, you're afraid that they wont take you, you don't belong so you just have to dump all over it." "Well...It wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it?" he said, with a condescending gaze. "Tell her, sugar!" Alan said, finally getting up and sitting next to Bender atop the railing. "Well, you wouldn't know, I mean, you don't even know any of us," said the prom queen. "Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fucking clubs." "Let's watch the mouth, huh?" "Honey, tellin' the bad boy what to do ain't gonna do nothin'!" Alan said, resting his elbow on his right knee. "I'm in the physics club, too."  Brian said quietly. "Excuse me for sec, what are you babbling about?" Bender asked. "Yeah, what ya' talkin' bout, honey?" "Well, what I said was...I'm in the math club, uh, the Latin club, and the physics club." the blonde said, shyly. "Oooh, a smart guy! Exactly what everybody needs in a man!" Alan shouted, ecstatically. "Hey, Cherry." Claire gave Bender an annoyed look. "Do you belong to the physics club?" "That's an academic club..." She replied. "So?" "So...academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs." "Ah, but to dorks like him, they are."  a slight pause ensued. "What do you guys do in your club?" Bender asked. "Well, in physics we uh, we talk about physics, uh, properties of physics-" he got cut off by Bender. "So it's sorta social. Demented and sad, but social, right?" "Yeah, I guess you could consider it a social situation. I mean, there are other children in my club, and uh, and at the end of the year we have, um, y'know, a big banquet at the, uh, at the Hilton." "Hol' up, are there some hotties in there?" Ya' guys load up? Party?" Alan asked with an eager grin. "No, they're not exactly the most good looking guys. And no, we get dressed up, I mean, but we don't uh, we don't get high." "Only burners like him get high." Claire said, pointing to Bender. "And uh, I didn't have any shoes so I had to borrow my dad's. It's kinda weird 'cause my mom doesn't like me wearing other people's shoes. And uh, my cousin Kendall from Indiana, he got high once, and he started eating like, really weird foods and uh, he felt like he didn't belong y'know, "Twilight Zone" kinda." "Sounds like you," Claire said with a giggle.

      "Look, you guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come right in here. I got a meet this Saturday and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads." said Andrew. "Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite, huh? Missing a whole wrestling meet!" Bender mocked. "Well you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot!" The word alone was enough to make Alan flinch. "You've never competed in your whole life!" "Oh, I know...I feel all empty inside because of it, I have such a deep admiration for guys who roll around with other guys!" Bender said, in his usual sarcastic tone. "Wait, that's  what wrestling is? Sounds fun..." Alan said to himself. "Ah, you'd never miss it, you don't have any goals." Andrew said. "Oh, but I do!" Bender claimed. "Yeah?" "I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need is a Lobotomy and some tights..." Bender teased. "You wear tights?" Brian asked. "No, I don't wear tights, I wear the required uniform." Andrew insisted. "Tights." Brian said. "Shut up!" Bender hopped of the railing and began walking towards the door. At that moment, everyone knew what he was going to do, and every thought the exact same thing, the exact same four letter word. Fuck.


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