Depression Is Only One Word//Hyunjin X Reader

Chapter 2

I stand in front of the practice room with questions running through my mind. like, what if all the members are there? what if he wants to talk about something I'm not ready to let go of?

or all of the above?

I take a deep breath before placing my hand on the door and knocking softly. not long after the door opened and there stood the black-haired boy from before. I grip my hands tightly behind my back to stop them from shaking, and I try and smile as best I can "Hello!" I said and his expression saddened

he moved out of the way of the door, signaling for me to step inside, which I did. I try and calm my breathing as I realize it's just me and him. I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing. what was he planning? is the only thought running through my head as I turn around to meet his eyes.

he walks up to me, grabbing my arm gently, pulling up my sleeves. I just let him, seeing as he already knows I have scars and depression. when he sees all the scars his eyes widened "I didn't know there was this many" he said lowly before looking at me, but I refused to look at him

"why?" he simply asked but I refused to look him in the eye. he let go of my arm just to lightly grab my chin and turn my head so I had no choice but to look into his beautiful brown eyes, God I could stare at them forever.

"why?" he asked again and I gulped. "I've suffered so much, half of these scars I didn't put on myself. I was just meant to suffer" I said avoiding his eyes once again.

"you're meant to live" those 4 words caught my attention once again, making me shiver. "I can't tell you how to live your life, but I can tell you that your life is worth living. but if you can't live for yourself, live for the ones that love you, like your family!" he said and I let a tear slip from my eye as I look into his

"my family's dead," I said as my voice cracked and I tried to wipe the tears away, and when I looked back at the boy in front of me I saw his eyes widen "dead..?" he asked, silently hoping I'd explain. 

"my parents died in a car crash, with my older brother," I said followed by a sob after I pushed the boy's hand away and took a step back. "were you in the car with them?" he asked and I shook my head "I was... somewhere else," I said hesitating. 

"don't you have any friends?" he asked and I shook my head "I grew up behind walls" well I wasn't lying, technically I did grow up behind walls, and bars...

"where did you grow up?" he asked and I looked at the boy with teary eyes. this is my chance to get rid of him, but why do I want him to stay? I don't even know his name!

"you don't even want to know Mr. idol," I said with a tone that affected him.

"well I want to get to know you more-" he stopped his sentence so he could move closer to me and place his hand on my arm "- I want to understand why you're hurting, and I want to help you through it, and if I cant help you, I will find someone who can and will" I was overtaken by the passion I saw in his eyes. it left me shocked.

but I had to look away from his eyes before they started getting my hopes up.

"There are still scars you haven't seen and trust me you never want to," I said trying to walk away but to no avail. he grabbed my hand and turned me around to face him. "just let me help you!" he said. and to be honest. what I said next was a bit much, and a lot ruder then it should've been but he was ticking me off and I wanted to get rid of him

"oh, so you think you can help someone who's tried to kill themselves about ten times? do you think you can help someone who was kidnapped when they were 6 right after her younger brother was born, and while she was being kept away for 10 years. do you think you can help someone who was raped and beaten to the point she almost died multiple times, who would've had 5 kids by now if her captors didn't decide to have fun with a knife?"

I paused for a moment and saw this look in his eye that threw me off for a second 

Admiration

I shook it off and went back to my rant but not before I yanked my hand out of his 

"do you think you can help someone who came back to her family at 16, just to find out she was  3 years too late? cause her parents and older brother died in a crash, and shortly after that her only sibling left overdosed.." I said. this time a bit soft than the last time. 

I wipe away my tears as I heard him walking towards me. I tried to step back but decided against it cause I could use a hug right about now

"and look at me now, venting to a boy I don't even know the name of," I said after he embraced me. a hand on my back and the other one on my head. both placed softly, not wanting to break me more than others have already done.

I felt his soft lips on the top of my head as I sobbed into his white shirt. 

once I finally calmed down we separated and I looked into his eyes just to find out he was crying too. I reached up and wiped his tears away as he held my hand softly on his face and leaned into it

"Hyunjin"

I gave him a confused look

"my names Hyunjin," he said and I just smiled at him. Hyunjin means dramatic boy. varies with the hanja used.

"now that's not a fake smile, and God it's beautiful!!"