The Given Gift of Curse

Chapter 8: Teach me

Life is always unfair to me. Everything I dreamed and cared for is always taken from me in the most painful way that I can receive. This life needs some kind of mercy and not grace. Life mess with me in every possible way. They always take something from me until there's nothing I can keep.

Right now, they will take my life because it is the only thing I have. If it's really the end, then I'm not regretting it. Why? Because it's life that's indebted with me. 'Buhay' ang may utang sa akin kaya bakit ako magsisisi?

I take my one last breath before the dark succumb me underneath. The smell of the soil lingered into my nostrils. It was peaceful down here. If It wasn't the lack of air that is suffocating me. I want to breathe but I can't open my mouth while I'm stuck in here. I will die properly but not when my mouth is covered with dirt. That's when I felt I was really suffocating, I struggled for air but there was none. I was buried alive but then I'm lifeless now.

*****

It was pitch black. I can't see anything but only my whole body. It this what they call 'death'?  Hindi naman nakakatakot. I hugged myself. Is this my soul? Naglalakad ako kahit wala akong makita but suddenly there was a light coming from afar. Papunta ito sa akin nang napakabilis. Napaatras ako nang mapansin kong isa pala iyong tren. Is this my service for i-don't-know-where? The train didn't stop in front of me. Instead, it passed leaving me behind. The train just continued its journey in this pitch black place without me. Tumingin ako sa pinagdaanan ng tren. May ilaw din na nanggagaling dito. Isa itong tunnel. Naglakad ako palapit dito at sinuong ang maliwanag na ilaw. I'm curious what's on the other side.

"No response."

There was faint voices I can hear. But I can't clearly understand what the voice says.

"Try again."

"There was no response for her."

"Try again."

"Where did you find her?"

"The maze ate her alive."

Narinig kong parang nagkakagulo ang mga boses. I stopped walking. No. I wasn't really dead. Nag-aagaw buhay ako! And I need to wake up now!

"I'm sorry, but no response again."

"Don't make do it."

"Then why didn't you help her?"

I need to wake up. Tinakbo ko ang ilalim ng tunnel. It was endless.

"Because I wanted to prove something."

"That fucking damn proof of yours made her life at stake."

I manage to cross the tunnel. I did it.

"I really dom't fucking care, Ken."

"You don't care when I die? Well, fuck you too, Sky." Nagulat ang lahat nang magsalita ako.

It was faint and almost a hoarse voice. I can clearly see them all. Lahat ng magpipinsan ay kompleto. I almost laugh. Gano'n ba 'ko kahalaga para pagtipunan nila ako nang ganito.

Ken suddenly approached me with a very worried face. Hinawakan niya ako sa magkabila kong balikat saka naupo sa kama kung saan ako nakahiga. Napansin ko na nasa isa pala akong silid, puro kama dito. I guess this was a recovery room.

"What happened?" Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang mga mukha nila at tinabig ang magkabilang kamay ni Ken. Inirapan ko si Sky na mukha namang walang pakialam kung bumalik na ako sa paghinga. He was such a jerk!