To Zion

20

Cooper told me that he would be at my house in five minutes. I'd been waiting all day to hear from him, and now that he was only a few minutes away, I felt my impatience rising. Throwing myself onto my bed, I stared up at the ceiling, where little pieces of adhesive still stuck from some long ago glow-in-the-dark stars. Sometimes I wondered how many foster children had spent parts of their lives in this very room, staring up at fragments of constellations that mirrored the tattered remains of the beating heart below them.

There was a soft tap at my door. Expecting Cooper, I called out for him to come in. I was more than surprised to see the other foster child who lived here, Miguel, looking cautiously into my room. I had never thought of him as anything like a brother, but I liked him well enough. He was the exact same age I was when I was forced into foster care, so I knew exactly what he was going through.

"Oh, hey, Miguel. What's up?" He smiled so deeply that his eyes crinkled shut, and his little hand waved at me from where he stood in the doorway.

"Laura told me to leave you alone, but I have nothing to do in my room, so..." he trailed off, dark eyes looking at me hopefully.

"Well, I'm just laying here, but you can join me." I offered, and his face split into that same adorable grin. He rushed over to the edge of the bed, and after a few seconds of scrambling, managed to pull his tiny body up next to mine.

"Why did Laura tell you to leave me alone?"

"She says that you are a teenager and don't want me to bother you." He turned his face to look at me, his skin as tan as mine was pale, his dark hair falling into his face.

"So that's why I never see you." He nodded, and I felt a twinge of guilt. He was so little, and probably so lonely in this house that didn't feel like a home to either of us. "Well, you can come visit me whenever you want."

"Really?" His eyes were so hopeful that I felt bad for making him wait this long to know that I liked him. Maybe I really was just a shit person.

"Yeah, 'course."

He let out a massive sigh, stretching out his arms and dropping then down onto the bed, letting his hand land on top of the back of mine. I didn't comment on it, turning away from him slightly to hide my smile.

"It's lonely in my room, and I...I have too many bad dreams in there."

I looked over at him, saw the tears collecting in his eyes, and turned my hand so that I could squeeze his.

"I know what you mean. Dreams are the worst." He sighed in agreement, then looked back up at the ceiling.

"Mine has stars on it." He pointed around at the remains of my stars.

"Doesn't the light help your dreams seem better?" I remembered being his age, struggling to sleep at nights, to stay sane during the day. Remembering the little things that helped me get through foster care.

"Yeah...yeah it does."

We both looked up at the ceiling, thinking our own thoughts about our own dreams. I wasn't really sure what Miguel wanted by visiting me, but he seemed content to just lay there and hold my hand.

By the time my door creaked open, I had completely forgotten that Cooper was even coming over. I looked up, remembered why he was here, was about to greet him when my eye caught sight of the person behind him.

"Zion, I'll explain in a minute." Cooper smiled, but it was tense, his eyes shifting between me and Miguel.

"Oh, this is Miguel. Miguel, you've met Cooper. This is Laurie." I introduced them, giving Laurie a searching look that he met with a lazy smile. He looked nervous too, but not half as nervous as Cooper.

"Nice to meet you, Miguel." Laurie greeted him, and Miguel nodded in reply, his grip tightening.

"Miguel, do you mind if we talk—"

"Sure, I'll go." He jumped off of the bed, smiled at the two boys standing in the doorway, kissed past them, and left the three of us there.

I stood up, not quite feeling at ease with the looks I was getting, and the fact that Laurie was here as well. I thought Cooper wanted to tell me something.

"You can come in, you know."

Cooper moved awkwardly to desk chair and sat there, whil Laurie decided to just sit on the desk. I sat back down on my bed and looked at Cooper expectantly.

"I bed you're wondering why Laurie is here, right?"

"Well, yeah, I kinda thought you wanted to tell me something."

Laurie was looking over and down slightly to see Cooper's face, the faintest of smiles playing at the corner of his mouth.

"I do. Umm, I guess I have a few things to tell you." He glanced up at Laurie, who nodded his head for Cooper to continue.

"Well, the thing is....Laurie is...he's..." Cooper looked away from me, fixing his gaze on the little bit of sky he could see through my window.

"He's my boyfriend."

"Oh!" The idea of them dating had never even crossed my mind. They haven't even seemed to get along as far as I could tell.

"That's great! I'm happy for you. Why were you so nervous to tell me? You know I'm not homophobic." I laughed, but was only met by a tense smile from Cooper. Laurie seemed a little more at ease, tapping his foot lightly against Cooper's chair.

"Umm, because we've been dating for kind of a while? Like six—"

"Seven." Laurie corrected him, and Cooper glanced over at him before looking back at me.

"Like seven months."

I let the information sink in. Seven months? That was a long time to not tell your best friend. To not even act like you were dating someone at all.

"Why? Why didn't you—"

"I wanted to! I really, really wanted to, but I was protecting Laurie. You know about his dad. Shit, he beat Laurie up for just talking to me once. Just talking! We weren't even standing close or doing anything to make him suspicious. I couldn't risk being the reason he got hurt again."

Laurie put his hand on Cooper's shoulder, communicating something to him that caused Cooper to relax slightly.

"It wasn't his fault, but we had to be careful, and didn't want to run the risk of word getting back to my dad from school. I'm sorry you had to be kept in the dark, Zion. I wanted to tell you too."

"You don't have to say you're sorry. I understand." I waived off their apologies. "But why are you telling me now?"

Cooper glanced up a Laurie, biting his bottom lip.

"Zion, you have to promise that you won't get mad."

"I'm not mad." I laughed, but felt my heart rate pick up at the way he was acting. Just say whatever is wrong and get it over with.

"We need to talk to you." Laurie supplies when Cooper seemed at a loss for words.

"Okay. Talk."

"It's about your secret admirer."