Dear April |✔|

Day One

Dear May,

I'm so sorry.

I miss you so much. I shouldn't have lied to you.

Dammit, May, I love you.

I loved you the moment you took me into your house. I loved you the moment you made sure I found foster parents who loved and cared about me more than my actual parents ever did. I loved you the moment you took a homless, breathing, selfish human being into your home and made sure that I ate and cleaned up myself. I loved you the moment you showed me how to properly tie my shoelaces because my parents failed to teach me how.

I loved you the moment you kissed me in your treehouse.

I woke up when you kissed me, May. I didn't want to ruin anything so I pretended that I was asleep until I actually fell asleep. I remember you placing my head on your chest. I remember you cuddling closer to me so that I was warm even though I had your bedsheet over me.

Dammit, May!

It hurts so badly. I want you to come back. I want you to hear me say that I love you. I want you to see me go down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness. I want you to spend the rest of my life with me. I want you to celebrate my birthday with me today...

But I'm too late... You won't ever come back.

I can't love anyone else but you, May. You were my best friend, my lover, God, even my mother. And I pushed you away right when you needed me the most. I was afraid that if my parents found out that I had left my boyfriend for a girl they would send me away just like my actual parents. I was afraid that my life would go downhill and I couldn't handle that type of life again not after gaining a reason to live through you. I was so selfish...

Now you're gone and I have no one.

I'm so sorry, May.

I love you so much... and I will forever love you.

With much regret and love,
April.