Me, myself and I (english version) [PAUSE]

Chapter 13: A very emotional Christmas

"You're my family

Of my order and rank

The one I chose, the one I feel

In this army of simple people

You're my family.

Much more than that of blood"

Jean Jacques Goldman, from the song "Famille"

I hear a childish voice whispering near me; I put quotation marks on whispering because, as I have already explained to you, children have trouble with this concept ... However, this morning, Leah's whispers sound more like screams for my confused brain and even though she has no control over the volume of her whispers, I know it's not normal that they give me a headache.

-Uncle Tae, Santa Claus came by.

-I know little duckling.

-Come on, we're going to open the presents.

-I can't move without waking tata Ana...

-Why is she sleeping on you?

-Because she was very tired last night...

My brain needs a few seconds to assimilate this information: Me, sleep, Tae Il? I suddenly open my eyes and recognize Tae Il's green shirt. Why is my head resting on Tae Il's torso? I get up suddenly, OH MY GOD! I slept with /on Tae Il! My head begins to turn as soon as I get up Seconds or a few minutes later? I can't really tell, when I manage to stabilize myself, my eyes find the culprits of this situation: the three bottles of alcohol that we had the good idea to empty last night ...

A few hours earlier:

Eric goes into the kitchen and comes back brandishing three bottles of alcohol.

-Well, now that the tradition of gifts has been realized, we can move on to the REAL celebration of Christmas!

He picks up four glasses, opens a bottle of champagne and fills the glasses he hands to each of us. I reluctantly accept the glass filled with the golden liquid asking myself whether I should drink it or not. I don't drink alcohol: nothing prevents me from drinking it, I'm not very religious, I'm a major and I don't have to drive tonight (I dont have a car anyways). There is a simple reason as to why I dont drink: I tasted beer once, I didn't like it, so, decided that I didn't like alcohol in general, thus, I never drank any kind of alcohol after that. This means that, technically, I have never drunk champagne, wine, whiskey, rosé, or... Well I think you see what I'm getting at, I've never tasted anything other than beer, but I know I don't like alcohol, you understand? simple and logical! Well wait, even to myself it sounds silly, so I'll take another example. It's a bit like when you taste a vegetable for the first time, you don't like it and so you decide that you don't like vegetables! Well, I admit: this logic is extremely wobbly, if everyone thought like that, no one would ever like anything ... So, in reality, nothing really prevents me from drinking or at least tasting this champagne ...

Anyways, Eric lifts his cup to toast:

-I am super happy to be here with you to spend a Christmas with what is closest to a family for me. I love you guys and I hope that next year we will be together again to spend the holidays together!

-"I too am very happy that we can celebrate Christmas together. After Grandma Lola's death, I could only count on Tae Il, and I know you don't mind Tae" Tamara tells him with a small affectionate smile before continuing "But I'm happy to see our family grow and to know that Leah has people who love her and who could take care of her if ever... »

She doesn't need to finish her sentence; we all understand what she means. Even if I don't want anything to happen to her, I know how cruel life is and how fast we can lose everything, so I get close to Tamara and put an arm around her waist; I would have liked to pass them around her shoulders but she is too tall, or am I too small?... Anyway, I just hope that my presence will reassure her...

-"I know I don't talk much and especially that I don't often express my feelings, but I hope you all know how much you mean to me. I'm happy to be able to spend the holidays with people who appreciate me for who I am and don't spend all their time trying to change me. Thank you for supporting me," concludes Tae Il with a small smile.

I realize when I hear the speeches of my friends, that we all need each other, we each have our stories, we all have had different experiences:

Tamara had to raise her daughter alone: although she was able to count on Tae Il's help, she could not count on that of her parents who abandoned her and had to grieve for her first love and grandmother.

Even if he tries to make us believe that it doesn't affect him, we all know that Eric misses his parents and that he would like them to be more present. We all know that when he gets home, in his empty apartment, he feels lonely.

Tae Il doesn't talk much about his family, but Tamara explained to me once that his parents are not satisfied with his choices. I don't know any more, but I think that his family situation weighs more on him than he would have us believe Our friendship helps us all to move forward and overcome our problems. I'm glad I was able to meet such great people.

I get out of my thoughts when Tamara whispers to me that it is my turn to speak, I cross the eyes of my friends before telling them what I have on my heart:

-Thank you for inviting me to spend Christmas with you. I'd probably be crying at home if I wasn't here with you. Before I arrived in Paris, my life had just been turned upside down: I lost my family and I lost myself a little bit. But ever since I met you, I feel like I'm ready to be happy again. So, thank you.